Another Pagan Blog

Solitary life

2012-01-24T00:11:00.000-04:00

Thanks to YouTube (which I just put a link to on your right! Go me!), I am starting to work out this whole solitary thing.

At first, it was hard. Even though one of the guys is pagan, we seem to be drifting further apart in practice. He is becoming more lax, I am becoming more focused. I am finding myself less and less drawn to going to community events (whereas before I would have been driven there, rain or shine). I am becoming content in my own little shell of a practice, a practice this is growing only stronger.

It's a strange change for me, but a welcome one. Relying more on myself helps me trust myself, and my own intuition. All the cards said the next few months would be inward, and it has been. Slowly purging out these ghosts of summers past, and making room for strength and love and honesty. Most of all, for trust.

Trust is a hard one for me, always has been. I have been allowing myself small moments of doubt, if only to keep the carefully constructed house of cards that is my trust upright. I am getting better.

And on this new moon, I am growing stronger. I never truly believed that one 'grew' into their power until now, until I realize just how much I have been through in my life and how sturdy I am still standing.

My 30's? They are going to be great. This world had better watch it's back.

Sometimes I feel like... somebody's watchin' me!

2012-01-09T19:37:00.000-04:00

image from candledark.net

I thought I'd write a bit more on a topic I recently uploaded a YouTube video for. The question was asked -

If you were outside meditating or doing ritual, how would you feel if someone was watching you?

My answer, as always, is simply that I don't care. I feel I can practice my beliefs anywhere I need to, and I have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm doing anything illegal, and I'm not hurting anyone. I can count the times I've been bothered on one hand, and they've never been a big deal.

I know there is always the concern of being in the 'closet' about being Pagan, and I can understand that to a degree. I am somewhat in the closet from some of my family members (mainly, my devout Catholic grandmother), and I take care not to talk about it, address it, wear any questionable jewelry or anything when I am home visiting her. I've had to hide it in past jobs, but my spirituality has not influenced my past jobs. Other people? Meh.

If someone wants to get their jollies watching me meditate or quietly leave an offering, fine. I'm not stupid - I wouldn't be out alone at night in the woods. Someone always knows where I am. But in the light of day, I'm fine.

Thoughts?

Stop touching my stuff / on to YouTube!

2011-12-26T00:37:00.000-04:00

Like a lot of folks, I have altars set up in different spots in my house. On more than one occasion, I have had people handling my things, setting their drinks upon them, or generally disrespecting them. To an outside observer, they are obviously purposefully arranged objects, and it drives me nuts when someone picks up something and doesn't ask first!

I know the rock is pretty, but please put it down.

I hate confrontation and hate to be rude to my guests, but I also don't want people handling my stuff.

On another note, I've gone and gotten myself a vlog on YouTube. Here's the first one!

Solstice

2011-12-21T18:18:00.000-04:00

The presents have been opened under the little tree. Soft holiday jazz is playing in the background. The large turkey is roasting in the oven for a night of revelry and food. The sky is already dark for this, the longest night.

I light candles to welcome back the light into my life.

Marking and Remembering

2011-12-06T22:43:00.001-04:00

I rearranged my altar tonight and lit some candles in remembrance. In my little antler candle holder, I have 3 candles lit.

The first is to remember the women that died 22 years ago today in the Montreal Massacre. 22 years ago today, Marc Lepine walked into L'Ecole Polytechnique and shot 28 people. Most of them were women, and 14 women died as a result. He specifically targeted women because he believed that women and feminism were the cause of all of his ills, and all the problems in the world. Since 1991, today has been designated as the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women. Tonight, I light a candle in remembrance and respect for those 14 women, and all the women before and after that have died simply because they were women.

The second is tied to this terrible, terrible story. I am a cat owner, and an animal lover and it sickens me that someone would do this to an animal. To something living and breathing. Every life is significant, down to the meat on our plates. It makes me so very angry and very distraught that someone would do that to a poor, defenseless animal. I read this story this morning, and I could barely contain my own grief. Even now, it is hard for me to write this without a sick feeling in my stomach. Perhaps it's the fact that I also think of my own animals in these scenarios, and it terrifies me to think of something happening to them. I truly treat them as members of my family. To me, this situation is unfathomable. I light a candle in remembrance of this poor animal's life, to ease it into the after, and to remember what was the last terrible moments of this poor creature. Rest in peace, little one. For all the animals that die senselessly.

Both of these reasons are enough to make me question all the craziness in this world. The cruelty, the depravity. It truly makes you wonder why one would bother even getting up in the morning, to deal with this world. Will people never learn?

I light my final candle for hope. For the continued health of my family, my animals, my friends. For the hope of better things to come, a better way of life. To keep us all safe from this crazy, crazy world. A hope that we can work to make it a better place.

I place some fresh cut rosemary on my altar, surrounded by salt. May we never forget. May we always remember.

Part 1 of a billion reasons why I have a hard time dealing...

2011-11-26T20:44:00.000-04:00

First off, I know I have a bee in my bonnet about this. I know I'm ranting and venting. I'll acknowledge it, and my butthurt. So haters can head to the left. Thanks.

The more time that goes on, the angrier I become with the Pagan community. Not necessarily my local community, but the community as a whole. I am going to address this in incidents, to make it easier to read and understand.

- I read a certain blog by a certain well-known pagan (well, known on the internet). I also follow this person's twitter feed. As a rule, most everything this person writes about I find interesting and inspiring. While I don't necessarily walk the same path, I can see it for what it is, and respect how they do their workings. They have inspired me to become more diligent in my herb craft, to make more things from scratch, and I have patronized their shop a few times. I knew they had some pretty hard-line opinions about things, but I'm also pretty set on my own path and have my own opinions.

So, colour me surprised when I opened Twitter to see the following update (paraphrased):

"People assume I'm Wiccan. How adorable."

Please explain to me how belittling someone else's (totally valid) spiritual path makes you somehow superior. I'm not even Wiccan, but that doesn't mean it would be wrong if I was. I know Wicca gets a lot of flak. I can understand why. If you look beyond that, there are a number of practicing Wiccans who are just as serious and academic and studious as this person seems to be. This is not the first time they have put down Wicca. They have belittled books, authors, tools... I get it. This is not making them seem open or tolerant. It makes them seem like a lot of the right wing wingnuts we all try to prove wrong. How is sniffing derisively going to help at all?

- I was reading a Twitter fight between 2 pagans I follow on Twitter. Both are pretty well known in their own circles, though one is better known than the other. The argument topic is not important, but suffice it to saw that to an outside observer, they seemed to be missing each other's points. I interjected (because it was publicly being discussed, and if they wanted to argue in private, they would have taken it off Twitter) and was invited to share my opinion by one. I did so, and then they both kind of blew me off. Why would you ask for an opinion if you didn't want to hear it? It's like walking away in the middle of a conversation and, to be quite honest, rude.

The thing that ticked me off the most was the elitist attitude from all 3 of them. If someone doesn't believe in what you do, they're somehow lesser. If my opinion doesn't match yours, it doesn't merit a response. I realize that a lot of BNP (big named Pagans) get talked at a lot by people wanting information and attention. That doesn't mean every person who comments or tweets you wants something from you. I have talked to a number of BNPs (well known authors, like Fiona Horne and Ellen Dugan) who have been warm, friendly, down to earth, and super to deal with.

This is not about these particular incidents. This is about the wider picture. All things considered, these incidents were pretty tame and not much to get worked up about. It's the implication to the wider community. Many of the people I have dealt with online have been the same way. What is with these people thinking they're too big for their britches? This isn't a thing that is limited to the internet. It happens in our own communities. You have people who start out thriving on spirit and integrity and slowly slide into ego and hunger for power. I have seen it happen time and time again. Why is this? Because we're too isolated and elitist? We don't want to open a dialogue, we don't want to talk. We just want to be left alone.

How is this conducive to spiritual development? How do we learn if we don't see paths that contrast our own? Explore other opinions? Have a discussion?

How do we grow?

I support unsightly, uncomfortable public disruption in the name of democracy.

2011-11-12T00:46:00.001-04:00

Today, Occupy Nova Scotia was (temporarily) shut down. I have shared my thoughts before on the Occupy movement, so I won't get into that.

What I will share, however, is the disgust I feel for my city - my mayor, my police force.

Here's the skinny: ONS was occupying a space called Grand Parade. It's smack in the financial district and in front of city hall. They have been occupying for 4 weeks. The mayor, Peter Kelly, has met with the protestors a number of times. Delegates from local native groups (including elders), veterans, politicians, business owners have all met with the group. It was cleanly run, with little to no issues. A few weeks ago, Kelly issued a statement for ONS to leave Grand Parade to give time for the Rememberance day ceremonies. ONS agreed to do so, and organized a massive cleanup on the site. They temporarily located to a strip of land called Victoria Park (which, let's be honest, is a little strip of land with a Robbie Burns statue), with plans to move back after the ceremonies.

This morning, ONS was served a noticed that they were being kicked off Victoria Park for violating a by-law. This was around 11:30am. Approx. 1pm, the police started to show up. What followed was this:

14 people were arrested.

I won't get into how much I dislike our mayor (Kelly has a lot of strikes against him) or even how angry I am with the heavy handed force of the police officers. What I want to focus on are the people who are not understanding the issues. There have been criticisms of ONS sheltering homeless people are allowing drug use. That they don't have a unified cause. That they're squatters and vagrants who are scary and just won't get jobs.

The movement is simple. In Canada, the divide between the rich and the poor is growing. 20 years ago, graduating university meant you had a decent job in your field. Now, it means you'd better get ready for grad school and more crushing debt (and student loans never gives you enough to get by). Our EI is too hard to access (which it shouldn't be - I shouldn't have to jump through hoops to get MY money that I PAID INTO). The rich are not taxed enough, and the poor are taxed too much. It makes it too hard to get ahead. People are worried about their pensions, their social programs. Sending their kids to college in 20 years.

It's not all 'hippy party jamboree', or drug orgies or stinky homeless people. Most of the occupiers have jobs and places to live. Some are students, fresh out of university and unable to find a job with a crushing student loan debt looming over their heads. Some are war vets, some are people who have lost their jobs and are waiting on an EI system that just takes too long. Some are homeless, which is just more proof the system is broken.

No, Occupy is not pretty or convenient. It's change. Sometimes, change is uncomfortable.

Recent states of events.

2011-11-11T21:09:00.000-04:00

Doing some spell work tonight.

The energy of today has been really strange. It's been pouring rain and howling wind all day. I had wanted to go out for a nice walk in the woods today, but with the weather it just wasn't meant to happen. I also fell down my stairs yesterday (-_-) so I'm quite sore and a little banged up. Walking was just not in the cards today.

I've been itching to get out and do something. Perhaps it's the point between Samhain and Yule that makes me want to get active and get stuff done. I want to be out late autumn, collecting the last bits of plants to dry, searching stones and leaves for spellwork and ritual. I want to make candles (which I may do anyway tonight) and knit and bake.

I had a lovely little private Samhain ritual, just the 4 of us. We lit a little fire in my cauldron (which still needs a cleaning) and remembered our dead. We remembered the things we lost, the friendships we left behind. We looked toward the new year and towards a fresh start. I was ready to leave the past behind, and now the real work begins.

I have been working with the tarot. I have been fixated with the mystery of the Hierophant.

Education ----- Knowledge ----- Status quo ----- Institution
Conservatism ----- Discipline ----- Maturity ----- Formality
Deception ----- Power ----- Respect ----- Duality
Social convention ----- Belief system ----- Group identification
Experience ----- Tradition ----- Naïve

This is a card that keeps popping up in readings. It usually represents some sort of teacher, but it could also mean structure, tradition, and lessons to learn. In many of my readings (including a reading from a local psychic), it has been pushing me to become more reflective, more introverted. Most of my readings have said that the next number of months will be focused on inner work. I have to agree with that. With all of the drama and inherent fear lingering from the past summer, now is the time to work past all of that stuff. It's scary, for sure. I'm still unsure of so many things, even though I should be, and my confidence is rattled. This is going to take some time, and I think I'll need the time to really focus on me.

My thought on the Occupation.

2011-10-18T23:50:00.001-03:00

What an interesting life we all live. I am going to start off by posting my thoughts from earlier on Facebook, and then elaborate.

My view on the Occupy protests: I think they are a very good thing, but I really feel that the media liaisons need to know what they are talking about. They NEED to know the issues, especially here in Canada where a lot of people are questioning the reason for protesting. I have a hard time getting behind a cause if the people protesting are being hypocrites. You can't be protesting big business and the rich while sipping your Starbucks and smoking your cigarette. It goes against the whole core of the movement. In the states there are people turning to making meth just to keep the family farm - so lets be realistic. Gandhi said "you have to be the change you want to see in the world". If you support this message, walk your talk. Support small business. Live ethically. Be a voice for the ones who need someone to speak up.

I think it's inspiring that so many people are coming together across the world for change. I don't know if change will happen, but I have to believe that something will change.

Protesting big business and the 1% has to come from a place of realizing that we live the way we live on the backs of other's hard work. We in North America are extremely fortunate. We, for the most part, have food to eat, places to live, family to care for us. We drive cars and shop in malls. We have jobs and technology and bills and debt and creditors.

We are not, however, walking miles to get water while our children starve to death. We do not have to choose which child will live and which will die today. We don't consider $1/year to be a successful wage, but some people are living on pennies a week.

Even with that harsh perspective, our lives are troubled. All of the horrible things that happen to other does not make the challenges we face any less important. No one should ever have to choose between rent and food. People should not have to resort to selling drugs to feed their children. 40% of the world's wealth is controlled by 1% of the population. This is NOT OKAY. I think in order to enact change, we need to walk our talk. In a capitalist society, the easiest way to make the big guys listen is with our dollars.

- Stop smoking - big tobacco is a billion dollar industry. They are making money sending you to an early grave - and spending my tax money to treat your disease. The environment impact from processing tobacco is harmful.

- Shop local. Give your money to your community and have it stay there. Yes, you're going to pay a few dollars more to support a local business. This is because most smaller businesses don't have the bank accounts that, say, Walmart has. Walmart and other big box stores can get stuff cheaply because they order massive quantities. I work at a small, locally owned business, and I think everyone should support local folks. With no support, these shops go out of business. So instead of using the shop I work for, as an example, as a showroom for Amazon.com, actually shell out the couple extra bucks and support us. The small guys can't compete with big box stores, but the money you spend goes back into your community, and your economy.

Don't show up to a protest drinking Starbucks. Support local merchants.

- Make yourself aware of the issues, and support causes that promote change.

People on my Facebook feed seem very torn about this whole movement. Some are rallying for this change, others resort to 'get a job, hippie'. The issue is not that of a bunch of layabouts asking for handouts (though I'm sure there are folks within the occupants that are just that) - it is an issue of big business not being taxed enough, and the middle class and poor being taxed too much. It's not just everyday people having to pay exorbitant rents and the cost of living rising. It's the small businesses (and people's livelihoods) that are suffering. I see people saying 'well, you CHOSE to accrue debt to go to school. You CHOSE to get a credit card. You have no one to blame but yourself.'

Tell me - what are my other options? I live with my spouse. I could work minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life (or, like my spouse, luck into an incredible job that could turn into a career with no education) or I could go to school and try to get a career. Which option would you choose? I don't plan on ever having children, but I want a life too. What option would you consider acceptable if you had children and had to provide for them?

We have it pretty good in Canada. We have some of the most stable banks (and thus, stable economies) in the world. We are not as hard hit as the US. However, people want a change. People want equality, and proportional representation. People want our government to tax big businesses, to work harder on environmental policies, and to give us a safety net to ride out this recession.

I will leave you with a video from my home town, Charlottetown, PE. This was filmed on October 15, and it makes me so proud to see so many people (young and old) rallying for this cause in such a small place!

OCCUPY TOGETHER - Prince Edward Island, Canada from Millefiore Clarkes on Vimeo.

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
-John Lennon, 'Imagine'

Happy October Vacation

2011-10-06T14:32:00.004-03:00

I almost never take vacation. I can't think of the last time that I took a week off that didn't coincide with school. I take the occasional 3 day stretches off to go home and see my mum or go camping, but to have a week is rare. Thusly, I decided a few months ago that I would take the first week in October off. My hubby has the same time off, so we decided to make a vacation out of it.

We ended up splitting our time in half. Today ends the first half, tomorrow starts the last part of the adventure. It's been incredibly relaxing. I don't think you realize how stressed you are or how in need you are of time off until you actually have it. It's been nice to enjoy the company of friends and to read all day, to sleep in (and I had NO IDEA my sleep deficit was so bad, I have not felt this rested in a long time) and to just ENJOY time.

I love my job, but like a lot of things you love, you need some time away to just be you.

Tomorrow starts the Annapolis Valley adventure. I am looking forward to fresh honey, apples picked off the tree, more beeswax candles than I can carry, and walking along the Bay of Fundy. I used to live there, once upon a time, and sometimes I really miss it. It's been 16 years, though.

For now, though, I will continue to devour my book ('Ecomysticism' by Carl von Essen, M.D) and eat delicious homemade pumpkin tarts.

Apparently I write hilarious horoscopes

2011-09-27T22:16:00.002-03:00

I used to write for the paper in college.

It lasted 2 issues. I know.

Anyway, I was the only one 'new agey' (shudder), so they asked me to write the horoscopes. They were looking more serious, I thought they were insane, so I took it a whole other direction. I just found them on my backup drive, and they're pretty funny. I think I missed my calling.

November 2007

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
This is a bad month, Aries. Some sort of planet (mercury, maybe?) moves into the path of the sun and that creates all sorts of problems. Bad mishaps abound, an old ex pops up out of nowhere, and that pimple on your chin doesn't want to go away. Expect a surprise phone call in the mid part of the month.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Your bull headed stubbornness could work in your favour this week – you need to maintain your ground on a personal crisis. But it's not all fun a games – a friend does something, causing you to see red. Grab the bull by the horns this week and ride into the sunset. Insert another bull metaphor here.

Gemini (May 21 – June 21)
The mirror has two faces, and so do you – use that to your advantage in the next few weeks. Gemini are swindlers and con artists, so work it! Sometimes having two people inside of you means more than just mental issues – take some risks, and contradict yourself! Get your mind out of the gutter!

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
Crabby? Yeah, that was lame. Seriously, open your yap once in a while – stop pining over the past, and be honest. A little give is good this week, and try to vent that anger before it cooks you in that tight shell you keep around yourself.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Really, Leo, you don't always need to be in the spotlight. Yes, you're the most beautiful and most worthy. But remember, beauty will fade and worth can be good or bad. Your mission this week: shut up and listen to someone else for once without your ego in mind.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
I know, I know, Virgo. Things always have a place, neat and tidy. You're an anal control freak – let go once in a while! You're so busy cleaning up the messes in others lives that you're neglecting your own. I know you'll deny it, you always need to maintain control in that weird way – but if you don't let go this week, you'll be carrying some baggage you might not want to store away.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Life is always a balancing act for our Libras, but things will get a little easier this week! A burden will be lifted from your back and your vision will be a bit clearer. Just keep up that positive attitude. Someone close is trying to get your attention – so take a look around.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Yes! Relationships abound this week, Scorpio! Remember not to get too close, though, to spare your friends the poison of the scorpion's tail. Take some time to yourself, celebrate your new found celibacy with a trip out to the bars! Get it on!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Quit shooting your slings and arrows this week – no one likes a cheap shot. Dampen that fiery temper with a water sign this week – join up with an old Pisces buddy for some laughs. Try not to let them take over the conversation with nonsense – keep people on track!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorns like to spend money – but it will catch up with you quicker than you think! Be serious with your money this week: that xbox 360 on ebay for $45 is likely a scam. Your can spread wealth in other ways, though. Take your friends on a trip down memory lane, and try not to feel sad that you're the only one who remembers or cares.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Stop being a self-righteous whiner. No matter what you think you know, you don't. Stop being an 'idea person' and be an 'actually contributing to society person'. Make a difference somehow – take a shower, change your knickers, tip, or give to charity. Whatever you do, just stop arguing – sorry, “debating” - with everyone.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Wake up, Pisces! Some yappy Sagittarius is trying to rain on your parade! Your best defence is to do what you normally do – retreat into a carefully constructed dream world where you are rich, famous, and getting laid – while they talk about direction and stability. You've got that shit covered, man.

December 2007

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Things are looking up, Aries. Compared to the train wreck of last month, December should be breeze. It may seem stressful early in the month, but things even out around the 10th. Expect social graces to up be up, and trust me, it's more than your winning smile pleasing people this month. Money should be a little easier this month, but be smart with it, dammit! Don't sail your gravy train too early, else others will be calling you a putz.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Sometimes being stubborn is not necessarily a virtue. You need to back down, because you can really come off like a prat who doesn't know what they're talking about. Keep this in mind for a confrontation later in the month. YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT, TAURUS. Be wise with your money – spending is not recommended right now, no matter how good the deal may seem.

Gemini (May 21 – June 21)
Sometimes it's hard to step up to the plate and do what's right when half of you is holding back. Embrace your duality, but don't be a hypocrite this month. Keep track of your double talk, especially for planning upcoming festivities mid month. No one likes a two-face, Gemini, even if it's all puppies and good intentions.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
Seems like a good time for bonding, Cancer. Look for a good time near the full moon this month, filled with friends and good spirits – and remember to let go. Whatever happens, take responsibility for your actions, and do it with grace and not like a dick. Friends will want to share a lot with you this month, but don't forget to take time for yourself – too much emotional time can wear any Cancer out.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You like the spotlight – how about taking control of a volatile situation? You'll have to do just that near the beginning of the month. Your introspection and navel-gazing will actually save your ass this month, Leo, because it will help you empathize with someone wronged. Family is important this month, especially for you – make sure to do something special during the full moon – it's energy will amplify your good intentions.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgos get so uptight at this time of year – and with good reason! For once, your anal retentive organizational wizardry will be a welcome addition to an otherwise unfixable situation. Your cash flow is good this month – now is the time to pay back those long-standing debts. Take some time for yourself around the 11th – you'll need a clear head for the rest of the month.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Balance will be tough this month, Virgo. Eliminate any distractions, and go for the goal that is most important – but, as fair warning, you'll isolate some people in the process. They'll come to their senses eventually, but it may take a few drinks and a few meals 'on you' to get to that point. Avoid buying anything on the 18th – you'll get ripped off!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Life is a bitter cocktail in the cabaret of existence, Scorpio. So why so down? So many people try to shun the darker parts of themselves – you should be embracing yours! It'll make the month a hell of a lot more bearable. Don't shut yourself off from people – you'll need them, especially around the 23rd. Beware a foreboding call during the dark moon – it's not necessarily good news, but you'll be stringer for it.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You may not necessarily agree with your family, but you love them – don't forget to show them that. I know you think your opinion and experience is very important, but so is that of the person you're trying to help. Don't get pushy, else you'll be dealing with tempers, tears, and uncooperative stances. Lighten up and let others make their own mistakes – just save an 'I told you so' for later.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
You're quite the saver, Cap, and this is the month to prove it. Don't forget to show those you really care about how important they are to you. Pick up that lucky penny you find on the 20th – it'll bring some joy to you and yours. Be sure to hit up a party the weekend of the 14th – love and friendship will run high, and for once you'll have someone who is interested in your inane theories.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Empathy of a brick, my friend. Really, for me, just try and be a bit more observant this month – if someone is in need, help them as best you can, especially near the 26th. I know it'll be hard to not beat logic into them, but you'll have to resist the ultra violence in favour of being someone that someone can count on emotionally. I know, it sounds weird to me too.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Spell it for me, Pisces – R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-T-Y. Stop slacking! Stop giving less than your all! I promise you, if you actually work for what you want, the results will be so much sweeter. This is going to be a moody month for you. Please ensure you have your meds on hand, and/or deal with your real world issues, not your pseudo-intellectual idealistic issues. The tears will hit near the end of the month (around the 27th), but you'll be okay. For reals. You'll see.

Maybe they're just funny to me.

What's wrong with local pagans?

2011-09-25T18:38:00.000-03:00

I stumbled on this blog a few weeks ago in my travels. There is only one entry, but after reading it, I thought about how it applied so much to the current state of mind in my own community.

So, what IS the matter?
Seems to me that local pagans are either afraid or lazy. I don't get it. I have tried (as have many others) to unite the pagans of Cochise County with no success. The issue is so complex that I have spent many hours thinking of what we can do next. Any on-line group that has in the past or exists now meets with indifference, silence or outright hostility. No one wants to forgive or forget.

I thought we were better than that.

We used to be. We used to be a wonderful community that did rituals, classes, gatherings and community service. We used to care about each other and met often to talk and socialize. Then it began...slowly and methodically...the lies, the betrayals, the ego trips, the judgements. We fell apart.

So, now, why do I care? Because I really want to understand and ask the questions...

Can we forgive and forget?
Have we each grown up a bit?
What is MY part in what happened and can I own that?
Are we done hiding???

The veil grows thinner.

2011-09-05T16:18:00.000-03:00

It's that time of year. The beginning of Autumn.

Autumn always feels like a beginning for me. The irony is not lost on me. I always feel more alive in Autumn than any other part of the year. It is the time when my disconnection wears thin, and I start to feel connected again.

I have felt disconnected for so long. With all of the chaos that has happened in my life, it is hard to feel anything but nervous all the time. It is hard to focus on spiritual stuff when you don't feel like you have some solid ground to stand upon.

I can feel it now, though. The call. I feel as though I can see my spirit calling me, but it's slightly out of reach. It's like a pain, an ache. I try and do what I can to connect, but I feel as though something is blocking me - like I am hitting a wall.

I am hoping that as the days get cooler, the wall will lessen.

I am hoping that as time goes on, I will be able to relax and feel less tense and scared all the time.

Life is hard.

Death

2011-07-20T21:00:00.000-03:00

1998 - 2011

My beautiful dog died this morning.

My stepdad went downstairs to throw in the laundry, like every morning, and greeted the dog as usual. This morning, though, there was no tail wag in response. There was no movement. My stepdad bent down to pet him, and he was ice cold.

I was 400km away at work in Halifax. I was last home to my mom's in June for her birthday. He was beautiful as ever, and always happy to see me. He hadn't been quite the same since my stepdad's dog Pluto died in May of 2009. He was more solitary, more lonely. My sister got a cat, but it didn't really interact with the dog at all.

This was sudden. He was fine yesterday. My mother speculates that his heart stopped at some point in the night. She doesn't think he suffered - which is some comfort at least.

His name was Bailey. He came into my life as a 6 month old puppy who was skittish and scared but loving and happy he became. He would have been 13 years this October. He had a long and happy life.

Rest in peace, old friend. You were the best dog and best friend and made me feel so loved, no matter how long between visits.

78 pieces of advice...

2011-07-11T14:23:00.000-03:00

Chaos ----- Sudden change ----- Impact ----- Hard times

Crisis ----- Revelation ----- Disruption ----- Realizing the truth

Disillusion ----- Crash ----- Burst ----- Uncomfortable experience

Downfall ----- Ruin ----- Ego blow ----- Explosive transformation

This card has been my life for the last 3 months. I don't want to go into too many details, because I know of certain people who read this site who have no need of this information. It has resulted in a lot of discomfort, a lot of pain, a lot of anger and a lot of counseling. I truly believe that things are on the road to recovery, but it is going to take some time and some patience to get there.

Hence why I have not felt the need to update this blog at all. That is going to change, though. I have a few things that I have wanted to talk a bout for awhile that have no bearing on my current situation.

Once upon a time, I had a friend. This friend was a very good friend, someone with whom I grew close to quickly. We had a number of things in common. We were the same age. I ended up moving last summer into her building. We had made many plans about all of the things we wanted to accomplish (witchy and non-witchy). A mere month and a half after I moved here, she moved further out of town. No real warning, and all of our plans were flushed.

I had a number of things happen in the last number of months. I found my biological father. My uncle has been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. My sister has suffered. My mother has suffered. My current situation is terrifying and stressful. All through these things, she has not been there.

She has not called. She has not messaged or emailed or texted me. She contacted me once, a few months ago, to go for a walk. We spent the entire walk talking about her. She never asked about me or my life. She got pregnant and didn't even want to tell me because of my noted dislike of children (and really, that only extends to stranger's children, and disbehaving children). She claimed she still cares, but couldn't give me the 'once a week' commitment I wanted. I never asked for that, I never wanted that. I just wanted to have a friend I could see more than once every 4 months.

In all the horrible things that have happened to her, I was there. I was there when he grandfather died and she couldn't go home for it. I was there through all the stress of her moving (and my boyfriend actually helped her move too!). I consoled her on the stress of planning her wedding. I supported her when she finally told me she was pregnant.

I have only ever been met with selfishness. All she cares about is herself. Her life. Her 'stuff'. My time is not important to her, and never has been. My problems are inconsequential. I am tired of feeling badly about this. I am tired of worrying about this. I have removed people from my life for screwing me over less.

So I am done. I don't need selfish people in my life. I need supportive people. I only ask for what I can give another.

The tarot has become a powerful tool and friend to me these last number of months. It's a nice way to reinforce what I already know. In all of the crap that is my current situation, one card I keep drawing gives me hope. This card has come up again and again. In almost every reading I have done. It's like my brain telling me 'have hope'.

Calmness ----- Free-flowing love ----- Trust
Tranquility ----- Peace of mind ----- Pure essence
Hope ----- Serenity ----- Inspiration ----- Generosity
Optimism ----- Joy ----- Faith ----- Regeneration
Good will ----- Optimism ----- Harmony ----- Renewal of forces

And so I have hope.

Spiritual Apathy

2011-04-22T21:36:00.000-03:00

I am still alive.

I have spent the last few months in a state of flux. I have found myself feeling more disconnected and more spiritually apathetic than I ever had before. I think it is a combination of factors - personal issues, issues with community, interpersonal issues. I think, to be honest, I got plain old burnt out.

My job is a spiritual place. I work with these subjects all day. My whole life was devoted to the spiritual. I was trying to use it to replace the loneliness I felt. I was ignoring my husband (who is not pagan) and excluding him from my life because he didn't share my beliefs.

Well, I've self evaluated. After months of soul searching, emotional issues, blow ups, frustration and tears, I've realized that for the last number of years, I have been using my spiritual path to replace certain areas of my life. I realized that I did not feel fulfilled.

So I scaled it back. Big time.

Now, I don't know how to start it up again. I changed my altar (for the first time in months) to something simple, honouring the sacred. I am trying to balance my life with my interests and beliefs. I am trying to separate the two again. Once upon a time, they were very separate.

Baby steps, I guess. I just need to inspire myself again.

Living without community

2011-02-28T13:23:00.001-04:00

A few months back, the group that I co-run had a meeting. We decided that it was time for us to take some time off. There was nothing in what we were doing that was inspiring us. We were becoming angry, jaded, and burnt out. Chances are of we felt the way we did, other people were picking up on it. The best course of action was for us to take 6 months and try and figure out what it was we wanted to do. As time wanes on, I don't know if we are sure what we want to do, but we are finding ourselves missing it less and less.

I used to thrive with community. It used to be my raison d'être. Everything I wanted to do what for the community, with the community. Now? I'm not so sure.

I don't know if it is a phase of my craft development, or whether I am simply weary of the drama. I find myself more and more drawn to solitary life (or solitary with my partner, anyhow). I still have a great desire to start a coven of 5 or 6 dedicated people, but that has been put on the back burner simple because the current state of things makes it chaotic. I realize that I used to rely on the community to keep me involved with my spirituality. I could work my own practice around benefitting the community in some way, running rituals for many. It feels as though I have forgotten how to run a ritual for myself.

Certainly, living outside of the community makes things easier. The only drama is my own, and the only one to rely on is me. I have grown so complacent in my own practice that I have lost the spark of what made me embark on this spiritual journey alone 11 years ago. Instead of playing the wounded victim, I need to step up and assert my own power again. This is what I intend to do.

At this point, I cannot say if I will re-enter the community. I still have 3 months to decide. I do know, however, that I will spend the next 3 months working on ME.

Soul meets Body

2011-01-26T23:25:00.000-04:00

So I talked a bit last entry about cults and New Age. I remembered today (after running into someone questionable) the Advanced Bonewits Cult Detection Evaluation Frame, or ABCDEF. It's one of the best things ever written by the late Isaac Bonewits, and so so useful.

Give it a read here, on Isaac's site.

As an aside (and completely onto the topic of tonight's post), I had a random song wander into my head today at work. It's one my favorites, and my favorite by the band. I realized after re-listening to it if you listen to it with a pagan ear, it's almost mythic.

New age and cult movements

2011-01-24T21:55:00.001-04:00

I don't subscribe to most New Age concepts. I am the type of person that needs to see results in something before I believe it. I'm very much a natural skeptic (I think I have to be, purely for where I work).

I like Reiki - it's fairly harmless and I've had measurable results. Same with crystals. I believe true psychics exists, though the gift is very rare.

I don't buy into auras, past-life regression, angel therapy, or any other person who claims to 'tap into' hidden energies to heal me in some imaginary way. I don't believe in beings from another dimension inhabited bodies of the 'willing'. I think the majority of New Age philosophy is bollocks.

However, if it works for you, it's all good.

I've been interested in cults for a long time, as long as I can remember. Being brought up Catholic, it is easy to see how people seek to be directed and controlled. I often wonder what controls the minds on the leaders - is it the high from the control, is there some spiritual reason, is it sexual - and what brings them to do the horrible things they inevitably end up doing?

I have been doing a lot of reading about Carlos Casteneda. Now, I can see why his books and teachings were popular - however, his movement was so close to bordering on cultish, he may as well have named a compound after him.

Here is a quote from an interesting article I found in my travels, on salon.com.

Castaneda, who disappeared from the public view in 1973, began in the last decade of his life to organize a secretive group of devoted followers. His tools were his books and Tensegrity, a movement technique he claimed had been passed down by 25 generations of Toltec shamans. A corporation, Cleargreen, was set up to promote Tensegrity; it held workshops attended by thousands. Novelist and director Bruce Wagner, a member of Castaneda's inner circle, helped produce a series of instructional videos. Cleargreen continues to operate to this day, promoting Tensegrity and Castaneda's teachings through workshops in Southern California, Europe and Latin America.

At the heart of Castaneda's movement was a group of intensely devoted women, all of whom were or had been his lovers. They were known as the witches, and two of them, Florinda Donner-Grau and Taisha Abelar, vanished the day after Castaneda's death, along with Cleargreen president Amalia Marquez and Tensegrity instructor Kylie Lundahl. A few weeks later, Patricia Partin, Castaneda's adopted daughter as well as his lover, also disappeared. In February 2006, a skeleton found in Death Valley, Calif., was identified through DNA analysis as Partin's.

It goes on.

Aspiring warriors, say Jennings, Wallace and Ward, were urged to cut off all contact with their past lives, as don Juan had instructed Carlos to do, and as Castaneda had done by cutting off his wife and adopted son. "He was telling us how to get out of family obligations," Jennings told me. "Being in one-on-one relationships would hold you back from the path. Castaneda was telling us how to get out of commitments with family, down to small points like how to avoid hugging your parents directly." Jennings estimates that during his four years with the group, between 75 and 100 people were told to cut off their families. He doesn't know how many did.

For some initiates, the separation was brutal and final. According to Wallace, acolytes were told to tell their families, "I send you to hell." Both Wallace and Jennings tell of one young woman who, in the group's early years, had been ordered by Castaneda to hit her mother, a Holocaust survivor. Many years later, Wallace told me, the woman "cried about it. She'd done it because she thought he was so psychic he could tell if she didn't." Wallace also describes how, when one young man's parents died soon after being cut off, Castaneda singled him out for praise, remarking, "When you really do it, don Juan told me, they die instantly, as if you were squashing a flea -- and that's all they are, fleas."

The women named, as well as 2 other women, went missing the day that Casteneda died. One of their bodies was found in Death Valley 5 or 6 years later. There is speculation that they all committed suicide.

Then you look at Scientology, a belief system created by a science fiction author to get rich. It's a weird mish-mash of New Age philosophy and SciFi. Today is the 25th anniversary of L. Ron Hubbard's death. While it seems like most Scientologists are a bit nutty, but harmless, delving into the actual belief system (which has been leaked by a number of former followers) makes you realize that these folks can be dangerous.

I am posting the following video with a caveat: watch at your own risk. There is some pretty disturbing information and some disturbing images (death photos). However, despite the images, the information is chilling and makes you realize how dangerous people can be.

THIS is why Pagans need to work so hard to maintain credibility. We have so many scholars, and theorists, and intellectuals in our community that are being overshadowed by the groups that portray a manner unbefitting of our religion. There needs to be a greater line drawn to separate the 'New Age' movement, and modern neo-pagans. One does not necessarily equal the other.

The open letter, and thoughts on the pagan community.

2011-01-19T00:11:00.004-04:00

I don't often crosspost, but I think this is a special circumstance.

This is an open letter to the pagan community.

We, concerned members of this community, are worried for its future. This year, the first in 13 years, our community had to scramble to put together a ritual for Samhain. This should not have happened. Though we are very grateful for the continued service of those who have come together year after year to produce an outstanding Samhain ritual and for the people who came together a few hours before the ritual was scheduled to bring something together, the lack of communication in this matter is saddening.

How did we get to this point? What happened to cause such a monumental communication breakdown to create this scenario?

We feel it is time for the community to come together and have a dialogue. People have to be willing to get out and participate and make their faith a priority. We have to have willing teachers, people who are glad to take initiates and neophyte students and show them the ways. Most of all, we need the support of every member of this community to nurse it back to health.

Awhile ago, we start a yahoogroup called 'hrmpaganplanning'. It was meant to be used as a method of communications between the members of the community that plan events and rituals. We would also like to see it as a way for people to get in touch with other members about group dynamics, help with events, and scheduling. We have opened this group up to everyone so that there is a way to foster a better method of communication. The URL is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hrmpaganplanning

This is not an accusation. We are not pointing fingers at any member in this community. We love this community. We are simply drawing on our experiences, and the experiences of those we have spoken to, and expressing our concerns to you all. We feel that open and honest communication is the first step in building the foundation for something wonderful.

Most sincerely,

A**, R****, and A*****
Co-Admin of the NSPA

The current state of my local community is maddening. This used to be a bustling, healthy, vibrant community. Now it's a droopy, sad flower. There are a few groups in town giving enormous effort, and for that I salute them - but it take more than the effort of a few very dedicated folks to get things rolling again. It's gonna take a village.

AND - before anyone gets on the case of the NSPA taking a hiatus - the rituals up until August are covered, and there is no interest in having meetings (as evidenced by the lack of attendance). We're not going to be sitting around doing nothing.

We stand behind what we've said, and we know we're going to have to deal with some of the more sensitive folks getting their robes in a twist. That's fine - it's to be expected, really. We've all been involved in this community for a long time. In no way are we shitting on the people doing what they do - in fact, we are encouraging it!

We have to do more. There has to be more open communication, and people have to approach things from a less defensive point of view. I love this community, for all it's stupidity and selfishness and laziness. I really do. If you're involved long enough, you see the kindness, and the heart, and the beautiful spirit it has. We just need more people doing it.

I have been trying to get in contact with people who have run a Pagan Pride event. I would like to organize one in Halifax (because the fact that we don't have one is just sad). I am waiting on replies from people, and the waiting is killing me. We have 8 months to get organized and going, and I'd like to get going ASAP. I hate waiting on the last minute.

Yule, busy-ness, and other crazy happenings.

2010-12-14T00:02:00.000-04:00

So, yeah.

This has been long neglected. For good reason, I assure you.

You see, I am going through something that a lot of people in their late 20's are going through - the fun of the Saturn return. It's been causing all sorts of havoc in my life - spiritually, emotionally, and family related.

After 28 years of thinking he was dead, I have found my father. It is uncertain as to whether he will acknowledge me, or whether he will tell his family about me. All I know is that he knows, and that we have some things in common.

This whole situation has played havoc on my entire life.

I finally got around to setting up a Yule altar, and a few friends and I are going to do a small Yule ritual and get-together on the 19th. Two of us are travelling on the 23rd, so we'll be spending time working and packing.

I am working on a few charms for safe travel and good weather. I also have a fun idea for the actual ritual.

January is going to be the month of crafts, I think. I meant to make candles and all that fun stuff in November, but then all this family stuff happened and here we are, mid December. I want to focus on family and cheer for the rest of the month, and start fresh in the new year.

I did end up making some pretty awesome mosaic candle holders. I'll get some pics soon and post them. I want to pick up some wax very shortly and make some candles.

Depression - is it spiritual?

2010-11-09T20:18:00.002-04:00

I have a not-so-secret: I have depression.

What an easy way to clear a room. All you need to do is say the dreaded 'D' word, and people scatter, like cockroaches when the bathroom light is turned on. No one wants to discuss it; no one wants to acknowledge it. It's the ultimate conversation killer, the easiest way to isolate yourself.

Mental illness has a stigma attached to it. People assume that if you are diagnosed with a mental illness, you're one botched latte away from a clock tower and and AK-47. They don't want to let you around the sharp objects, and the second something negative happens they give you the piteous side-eyes. Worst of all, they clam up. They don't want to talk about it, and they certainly don't want you to talk about it. 'I don't know what to say!', they claim.

We, the people with mental illness, are shunned into silence. We are isolated.

I was first diagnosed with depression at 17. My emotions were heightened; I threw a plate of food at my step-father during Thanksgiving dinner. I promptly went to my room, after spitting 'I fucking HATE you' in his face. I went to the doctor, and went into counselling. My depression manifests itself as incredibly low self esteem and self worth. I used to self-injure in my early 20's. I have been on and off drugs (off for the last 8 years). Like any incurable disease, the only thing you can do is manage it. I practice cognitive restructuring therapy, which is basically reprogramming your brain. Like a robot.

My boyfriend told me he thinks it's shameful that I don't have a support network or anyone to talk to aside from the people I live with. I just laughed; 'If you think it's shameful, how do you think I feel?'

I feel angry. I feel disgusted. Mostly, though, I feel like a burden.

I wonder if people think I want to be like this. I wonder if people think it's some attention-grabbing thing. I wonder if people think the same things of diabetics. My disease is as genetic (going back 4-5 generations, friends) as diabetes. Diabetics take insulin; we take Zyban. Diabetics avoid sugar; we avoid the mirror. Like diabetes, I can't 'flip a switch' and be okay. If people knew the things I was thinking about myself, they'd cry. Or laugh, if they are assholes.

There are days that I just look for a reason to continue on. On those days, I think about my mother. I think about the fact that she would be institutionalized if I took my own life. I saw first hand how hard it was on her when my sister had a stroke - I couldn't put her through that. Despite that, I still have dark thoughts, I still isolate myself from people. No one wants to hear about how sad I am - they want to hear about how interested I am in them.

All in all, I am a fantastic actress. I can play the part of the well-adjusted person and hide my true self. I should have the Oscar, really.

I think I have been frightfully honest enough for tonight. Maybe the next time a friend calls you and seems down, you'll take the time to talk. It might make the difference in someone's day. Maybe they won't end up like me - perish the thought.

People with mental illness - they are your friends, your family, your co-workers. They drive your buses and run your city. Please don't shun us, don't ignore us, and don't pity us. We are not all ticking time bombs. We aren't all crazy - just misunderstood.

Upcoming plans and crafts for the month

2010-11-02T02:42:00.000-03:00

It's November. For me, that means it's time to get crafty.

What I would like to do this month:

- make candles
- make incense
- get more essential oils and make bath and massage oils
- get out and take some photos for gifts
- make my mosaic candle holders

This seems like a lot of Sunday projects. I am so excited. :)

Samhain altar and public ritual

2010-11-02T02:31:00.001-03:00

So I completely forgot to post my altar for Samhain. It's one of my favorite Sabbats, and I always try to do some divination work.

Aaaand here is the breakdown.

I have some other stones and black candles on there as well.

I often use Baba Yaga for a crone representation at Samhain. I love her story (sometimes the antagonist, sometimes bringer of wisdom).

In Russian tales, Baba Yaga is portrayed as a hag, who flies through the air in a mortar, using the broom as a rudder and sweeping away the tracks behind her with a broom made of silver birch. She lives in a log cabin that either moves around on a pair of dancing chicken legs, is surrounded by a palisade with a skull on each pole, or both. The keyhole to her front door is a mouth filled with sharp teeth; the fence outside is made with human bones with skulls on top, often with one pole lacking its skull, leaving space for the hero or heroes. In another legend, the hut does not reveal the door until it is told a magical phrase: "Turn your back to the forest, your front to me".

In some tales, the hut is connected with three riders: one in white, riding a white horse with white harness, who is Day; a red rider, who is the Sun; and one in black, who is Night. Baba Yaga is served by invisible servants inside the hut. She explains the riders if asked, but may kill a visitor who inquires about the servants.

Baba Yaga is sometimes shown as an antagonist, and sometimes as a source of guidance; there are stories in which she helps people with their quests, and stories in which she kidnaps children and threatens to eat them. Seeking out her aid is usually portrayed as a dangerous act. An emphasis is placed on the need for proper preparation and purity of spirit, as well as basic politeness. It is said she ages one year every time she is asked a question, which may explain her reluctance to help. This effect, however, can be reversed with a special blend of tea made with blue roses.

I usually try and do something for Samhain with my small group of friends, but that just didn't happen this year. I opted to go to the public ritual. It was disorganized, disjointed, and too complicated. I got dragged into a speaking part (which I really didn't want), and I left feeling depleted and depressed. The normal guy who does it decided last weekend he wasn't doing anything, so another group stepped forward. That group couldn't get stuff up and running, so the ritual that ended up happening was written a few hours before. Still, it could have been better executed if it wasn't so damn complicated!

My Samhain day was disappointing. I was supposed to have plans (well, they were plans in the works) but after no phone call or contact, I opted to stay at home by myself and think.

I sense a lot of change upcoming. Even the cards in the reading I did signal change.

Blessed Samhain

2010-10-31T13:23:00.000-03:00

Just wanted to take the time to wish everyone a blessed Samhain. Be safe.

My first honour! sniff

2010-10-26T01:44:00.000-03:00

I have recently been honoured with an award from Earth Tales of a Starseed Spirit Witch as 'Promising Newbie'.

Thanks so much! I am really glad you enjoy reading my words, and I hope to be bringing you many more words in the coming months!

Health?

2010-10-18T15:18:00.002-03:00

Generally, I am a pretty healthy person. I try to eat right, I exercise, and I take my vitamins. The last year, however, has not been good to me.

Last summer, I got a staph infection in my leg from some sort of bite. The medication I was required to take (since I am allergic to penicillin) was harsh. On day 9 of 11, I developed huge hives all over my body. The medication also screwed up my digestive system - the side effects it gave me were the opposite.

Since then, I have had an occasional pain in my lower left abdomen. I saw my doctor last year, and he told me to eat more fibre. I amped up my fibre intake, and still was having problems. I was referred for an ultrasound (which, if you are familiar with Nova Scotia's healthcare, means it could be YEARS before I get an appointment). For the last year I have been living with this pain - and to be honest, it is occasional.

However, last month, I started having really sharp pains. This occurred after I bent over at work and felt a pop in that general area. I saw my doctor, who referred me for a barium enema. Yikes. I got a call on Friday that my appointment was Tuesday (tomorrow). I am starting the detox (lots of laxatives and very little food for the next 24 hours) in a little bit, but I am scared. Obviously, this has been going on a year - it's not fatal. If it was cancer or something, I would have a lot more symptoms. I've never had anything like this done before (and I've never taken laxatives before). I have an innate fear of medical procedures.

I don't often ask for healing or supportive energy, but if you've got some to spare in the next 24 hours, I would be appreciative.

Thanks

2010-10-10T22:26:00.000-03:00

This weekend is a holiday in Canada - it's Thanksgiving. Technically, it's tomorrow, but a lot of folks eat their dinner on Sunday. We ate ours tonight because the in-laws came. My MIL brought me some fresh sage from her garden to bundle, which smells lovely an is now bundled and drying in the closet.

I reflected on things I am grateful for this afternoon when I had some time to think. There are the regular things - family, friends, a roof over my head, a job I love - and there are the things that seem so inconsequential on a daily basis but enrich our lives.

I am grateful for music. I am grateful for how it can often express what I am feeling, and can mirror my feelings so well. Sometimes I am grateful to have certain song that I just turn on and cry or wallow in sadness (it helps me focus on the feeling and exorcise it from my system). Here are a few songs I turn to when I need to express emotion and often can't find the words.

I listen to both of these songs if I am sad about something that I can't quite put my finger on. I can focus on the lyrics, digest the meaning or try and sort the meaning out. It gives me focus so I don't mope or wallow.

I listen to Lady Gaga to bring my happiness out, I listen to a lot of older stuff (70's rock, Stevie Nicks) when I'm in an introspective mood.

I am thankful for the sound of my cats purring.

I am thankful for technology. Technology helps people like me communicate to people like you. It helps me reach out to others.

I am thankful that I am who I am. I am thankful for the things that have gotten me here.

Cleaning Frenzy

2010-10-02T23:12:00.000-03:00

I was listening to the most recent Witches BrewHaHa episode all about cleaning and cleansing. She started talking about how she gets into a cleaning frenzy right after Mabon, almost like spring cleaning. I got to thinking - I tend to be the very same way!

She covered a book I own called 'Magical Housekeeping' by Tess Whitehurst. In her books, Tess talks a bit about very practical ways to bring harmonious energy into the home - specifically, floor powders and floor washes.

I've never done floor washes (I don't feel like I'd be getting my floors clean, just putting another layer of stuff on the grime), but I was willing to try the floor powders. It's basically ground up herbs and baking soda. You dust it on the floor like you would a vacuum powder, and vacuum it up!

I decided on 3 different blends. I put 3 pinches of each herb.

Room one (where my altar and books are, but there is also a bed): lavender, sage, and rose petals
Room two (bedroom): chamomile, lavender, and rose petals
Room three (main living area): peppermint, rosemary, and frankincense

I never use a mortar and pestle anymore - a friend of mine turned me onto the idea of using a coffee grinder. I have one specifically for herbs, and it really grinds it into a powder (including the resins!). Just make sure you have a small clean paintbrush handy to get all of the powder out of the grinder (her idea as well - I love the modern convenience!).I mixed each blend with baking soda, shook everything up, and dusted each room, left for about a half hour, and vacuumed up! So easy, and what a wonderful smell!

I then proceeded to clean and organize my bathroom and kitchen. It feels nice to have a working space in the kitchen.

After all was said and done, I burned some incense and took some Four Thieves Vinegar a friend of mine made for me last yule, and dabbed all my windows and doorknobs.

It feels spotless in here. I am one happy witchy!

I am also on a baking frenzy. 2 kinds of muffins last night, as well as chocolate cupcakes (all from scratch). Next week, it's pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, as well as pumpkin bread/muffins. Cider upcoming the next few weeks, as well as applesauce for freezing. This is my most active time of year.

A little about me

2010-10-01T01:11:00.000-03:00

I just did a little 'about me' for Remedial Witchcraft, so I thought I'd post it here too. :D

I think I first encountered witchcraft when I was in high school.

I grew up in a very tiny town, and moved around to end up in a tiny city of 35,000. My village had between 40 and 100 people, and we were surrounded by nature. I spent the majority of my childhood playing in the woods, trying to dodge the coyotes. I felt a very close bond with the land, and often had forts within the ferns. There were no video games (I think we had an Atari at one point, though I rarely played it). You played outside unless it was raining.

Witches were fiction. I was brought up Catholic, but I refused to be confirmed because at 14, I didn't hold any particular belief. I ran with a wide circle of geeks and weirdos in high school, and a few of them used to huddle around lockers, exchanging books and murmuring about spells. I dismissed these peers as attention-starved goths and went blissfully into agnosticism. I did, however, spend a lot of time roleplaying and reading mythology.

After graduation, I started to get into tarot. My local comic shop had started to carry them (I didn't know the proprietor's wife was a practitioner until a few years ago) so I picked up a deck. I asked a friend of mine (one of the weirdos who called herself a witch who also happened to be into tarot) if she had any books on Tarot. She handed me a copy of Silver Ravenwolf's 'To Stir a Magic Cauldron'. I read it cover to cover, and promptly went to the library to see if I could dig up more.

To this day, I have sincere gratitude for the Charlottetown Public Library system.

I think I must have read everything the library had (which was surprisingly a lot!). I couldn't believe my eyes - witches were real, and nature was god. I clicked with it almost immediately. I began to probe the 'weirdo' friends, who were very kind to show me the ropes. I did a lot of studying online, and eventually, we started our own group. I did my dedication on Samhain, 2001, after studying a year. I moved to Halifax in August of 2003.

Groups have come and go, and my practice has been solitary and group oriented. I currently have a small 'family circle' with one of my SOs (the other isn't pagan, he's deist). I help manage the local pagan shop, and run classes occasionally. I co-run a local casual group as well, and would eventually like to start a coven of like-minded folk.

A few notes about me, in point form;

- The moment I knew I was a 'lifer' was on Lughnasadh, 2003. My sister was very ill, hospitalized after having a stroke at age 12. We were unsure if she would walk or speak again. I went to the local public ritual to help get some guidance. At the end of the circle, I asked the gathered participants to send energy to my sister. I think I broke down about half-way through the request. Afterwards, I was hugged by so many people (including a large man named Big Pauly who was sobbing), and given some flowers from the altar to take to my sister's hospital room. Within a week, she was starting to talk. Within a month and a half, she was talking and walking with a cane. She came back so quickly, I couldn't believe it. I knew then that the unconditional love from the Gods and the participants helped her on her way.

- My biggest pet peeve about the community is the lack of reliability. It's hard to find people to count on.

- I am a natural skeptic, and a firm believer in science. I also believe that spirituality and science are deeply intertwined.

Reaping what I sow.

2010-09-29T20:53:00.000-03:00

Mabon passed quietly this year. We recently moved, so we aren't as familiar with the layout of the neighborhood as we were with our last. We took a quiet evening stroll, found a small area in the marshland, and lit a small beeswax birthday candle. The two of us offered some stones to the bubbling streams, and a bit of the local harvest. We had a few moments of reverence, and continued our walk.

I start my new project in the next 2 days (in case you missed it, it's over here), and I got to thinking of the things and ideas I had planted that have not come to fruit this year.

- I'm not terribly good at forming new friendships - I've been very burned in the past, so I'm always wary of the intentions of others. Yeah, I know. I'm working on it. I spent a great deal of time trying to nurture the friendships I had in the last year, but I feel like most of them have fizzled out. I either come on too strong, or perhaps I just have grown tired of being the designated 'planner'. I've been stuck with that role since I was 12 - and it's something I often loathe because the onus always falls on me to contact someone else if I want to do something. Otherwise, people just .... don't call. After 16 years, I guess I'm a little tired of being shouldered with the responsibility. It happens with ritual, with casual hang outs, with people coming to visit. Argh. Just because I am good at something does not mean that I always want to be the one to do it. I want to feel like my company is desired as well - is that so bad?

- I also wanted to have a lot of things taken care of financially, but it's been one setback after another. The stress is taking a toll on my health, which hasn't been the greatest as of late.

- I'm waaaay behind on my reading list. I keep adding to it, which is kind of counter-productive.

- I still have yet to find reliable people to form a coven with.

Oh well. There is still a bit of year left - and the things I need to deal with will hopefully sort themselves out (with my help, of course) before next Mabon.

Mabon

2010-09-19T12:33:00.000-03:00

The Wheel turns and turns, and the year begins, ends, and begins again.

Mabon is the second of three harvest Sabbats. In September, we also bid farewell to the Harvest Lord who was slain at Lammas. He is the Green Man, seen as the cycle of nature in the plant kingdom. He is harvested and his seeds are planted into the Earth so that life may continue and be more abundant.

This festival is also known as Autumnal Equinox. It usually takes place on or near September 21.
Altar
For the Mabon altar: Decorate circle with autumn flowers, acorns, gourds, corn sheaves and fall leaves.

Traditional Herbs - Rue, yarrow, rosemary, marigold, sage, walnut leaves and husks, mistletoe, saffron, chamomile, almond leaves, passionflower, frankincense, rose hips, bittersweet, sunflower, wheat, oak leaves, dried apple or apple seeds.

Traditional Incense - -
Pine, sage, sweetgrass or myrhh. You can also mix marigold, passionflower, and fern, using frankincense or myrhh as a resin for Mabon incense

Candle Colors - blue gray, brown, citrine, gold, green, light brown, orange, red, and yellow.

Magical Stones - During Mabon, stones ruled by the Sun will help bring the Sun's energy to you.clear quartz, amber, peridot, diamond, gold, citrine, yellow topaz, cat's-eye, and adventurine.

Divinities

Spells
Mabon is a good time to cast spells of balance and harmony. It's also a time of change. Protection, wealth and prosperity spells are appropriate as well.

Activities
- - Make grapevine wreaths using dried bitter-sweet herb for protection. Use ribbons of gold and yellow to bring in the energy of the Sun, and decorate with sprigs of dried yarrow or cinnamon sticks.
- Make a Magical Horn of Plenty.
- Make Magical Scented Pinecones.
- Make a protection charm of hazelnuts (filberts) strung on red thread.
- Collect milkweed pods to decorate at Yuletide and attract the faeries.
- Call upon the elementals and honor them for their help with (N-earth) the home and finances, (E-air) school and knowledge, (S-fire) careers and accomplishments, (W-water) emotional balance and fruitful relationships.
- Make a witch's broom. Tie dried corn husks or herbs (broom, cedar, fennel, lavender, peppermint, rosemary) around a strong, relatively straight branch of your choice.
-Make magic Apple Dolls: Apples are sacred symbols of the witch. Our holy land, Avalon, means Apple-land or Island of Apples. Slice an apple through the midsection and its seeds reveal the sacred shape of the pentacle. You will need two large apples, one for Mabon and one for Modron, 2 pencils and 2 dowels about 12 inches long, a paring knife, a glass or bowl of water to wash your fingers, a plate, and a towel to wipe your hands. Peel and core the apples. Carve a face in the apples. Place apples on a dowel and stand them in a jar to dry (start now). Then charge in a magick circle. After 2 or 3 weeks, they should look like shrunken heads. Make them into dolls. Use wheat, dried herbs or doll's hair for hair. Dress them in tiny robes and bring them into the circle, asking god/dess to charge them with their light. Hang these Mabon and Madron heads on a Witch's cord or a Mabon wreath.
****

Usually, for Mabon, we go down to the Annapolis Valley and pick apples. I usually spend the next few weeks making and freezing pies, sauce, and bread. Unfortunately, due to family drama, we are unable to go this year, so I will spend today and tomorrow making breads and pies.

Project Pagan Enough

2010-09-17T23:56:00.000-03:00

I just wanted to share with you a cause that I really think people need to be aware of.

I am posting this directly from Inciting a Riot, which is fun by a cool dude named Fire Lyte. He is spearheading this movement, so I will copy his words:

Project Pagan Enough is my movement to raise awareness in the pagan community about our treatment of one another in public, online, one-on-one, and any other time we are faced with talking to, about, or meeting with other pagans.

It has become quite obvious over the past few years that the pagan community likes to talk the big game of being tolerant and inclusive of all peoples, but seems to lack that tolerance when the person in question dresses well or is attractive or is otherwise garbed in a cloak of 'mainstream.' This intolerance seems to be derived from a standpoint that we, as the pagan community, believe we are ridiculed or ostracized by the mainstream, thus people that look mainstream must be our enemy.

Project Pagan Enough seeks to say that - no matter your beliefs, practices, looks, or loves - you are pagan enough. We can argue theology back and forth all day long and disagree with one another's fluff-factor until the cows come home, but it is high time that we stop denigrating one another's level of being pagan. Paganism does not have a set definition, and there is definitely not a dress code or music-loving requirement.

If you listen to Lady Gaga right alongside Kellianna, you are still pagan enough. If you don't mind wearing Abercrombie & Fitch, Prada, or other name brand, mainstream clothing to the local pagan festival, you are still pagan enough.

Also, Project Pagan Enough seeks to encourage members of the pagan community to be more tolerant of other religions, beliefs, and practices. What do I mean? Aren't we the most tolerant of all faith-based communities? Well, what happens when you hear the word 'Christian?' Are you still that tolerant, loving, inclusive pagan?

Many of us, and this is not specific to Paganism, choose not to really understand other faiths. Thus, we base our ideas of that faith on actions of the people that practice it. We say that Christianity is a mirror of the Christians who claim it as their faith. But, this is a horrible method of learning about other faiths, just like trying to learn Paganism by looking at the actions of self-proclaimed Pagans. People kill in the name of all faiths. People hurl insults in the name of all faiths. People foster hatred and jealousy and ill-will and harm in the name of all faiths. Project Pagan Enough seeks to say that we should be secure enough in our beliefs and ourselves to truly tolerate other religions and stop laying blame for what we consider to be the evils of the world on the doorstep of other faiths.

So, Project Pagan Enough is a movement, a cause, a Harmonious Riot that includes bloggers, podcasters, pagans, non-pagans, me, you, and the whole pagan community. It is my hope that the Project Pagan Enough logo becomes a beacon of progress and change for those of us living a magical life. By putting the Project Pagan Enough icon on your podcast's site, blog, or other website, you're making a set of promises:

1. You are pagan enough, despite how you look, act, smell, dress, believe, or are.
2. You recognize that others are pagan enough despite their appearance, smell, manner of dress, belief, practice, or other aspect.
3. You recognize that you can have an academic debate on the finer points of belief or practice, but that it does not take away from someone else's level of being pagan.
4. You welcome, befriend, and encourage others in the pagan community despite their appearance, dress, or other physical or superficial characteristic.
5. You promise to treat members of other faiths, despite the faith, with honest-to-goodness fairness, equality, and grace, not judging them or their faith based on the actions of fringe members of their same faith.

Like the points of the pentacle, these 5 tenets of Project Pagan Enough work together and will, I hope, launch our community into a new era of tolerance, love, and all of the qualities we like to think we have.

You may copy the Project Pagan Enough logo for your own website - below - but please make sure to link back to this page to allow others to know what promise you've made to the community at large.

It is my sincere wish that we move forward into the new millennium with tolerance and open arms to all existing and new members of the Pagan community.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Wait... a podcast I like?

2010-09-17T23:49:00.000-03:00

Let me be frank - I usually despise podcasts.

I find a lot of pagan podcasts in particular incredibly campy and frustrating to listen to. I often get bored or fast forward through the boring parts, and then I get angry because I barely listened to any of the episode and it was a waste of time.

Until I found Velma.

Velma is the host of the WitchesBrewHaHa podcast. I gave it a listen on a lark - and I can't stop!

Have you ever had someone highlight your own opinions in such a way that you pound the table, nodding vigorously and screaming 'OH MY GOD YES FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT!'? Listening to her podcast was like a huge wakeup call about what I think, feel, and believe. She makes so many amazing points that I almost feel vaguely sycophantic agreeing with her.

Either way, give her a listen.

WitchesBrewHaHa can also be found in iTunes.

Excited! Witches!

2010-09-07T21:02:00.000-03:00

A few years ago, on Samhain, we were headed over to my friend's place to watch this awesome documentary on the biography channel that was supposed to air. We were all ready to go, and realized that they were only airing it on the American Biography channel, not the Canadian. Since then, I have been unable to find it.

Until tonight.

I was able to find it on YouTube. I have linked to the 6 parts here. Enjoy!

Prooojects!!

2010-09-05T02:39:00.000-03:00

This is a massive photo post, so be prepared.

I moved 2 months ago and and I have finally set up all of my altars.

Ganesh!

Kuan Yin.

My main altar, which was set up for prosperity and healing (since my cat was sick at the time) at that time.

Brigid, including a piece of chalk from the horse of Uffington that my boss brought me back from England!

Said chalk!

As well on these altars are some recent stone acquistions:

Spirit Quartz Amethyst.

Tangerine Quartz

Merlinite (my new favorite stone, from Avebury!)

Smokey Quartz cluster with clear quartz orb. I love quartz.

I love doing crafty stuff, and if I can tie it in with my own personal practice, even better.

I decided it was time to replenish my herb supply (not too many, I want to grow a bunch next year. I also don't work with herbs that much (but hopefully that'll change!), and they needed smaller jars and some new labels.

First, I repainted an ugly old shelf I had to match my kitchen. Then, I downloaded a template off the net for the labels, and photoshopped them to my needs.

I soaked the labels in coffee to give them an older feel. You can't see it too well in the photos, but I was really pleased.

The shelf with all the herbs. The bigger bottles are catnip (for my kitties!) and local sage.

Last week, I trotted down to Value Village (a local thrifty store) on their sale day. I found this box - perhaps and old cigar or brandy box? - for $2.00. The inside was rough wood. I refinished it with some fabric scraps I had from my cloak and a glue gun. I then put a few drops of lavender oil, as well as some sea salt in to cleanse it. It currently sits atop my main altar covered in stones to prepare it for use as a tarot box (this sucker is huge. I may be able to get all 5 decks in there).

Outside. My altar has changed from the above photos.

The inside.

Closer. I'm pleased with how it turned out, even though my poor fingers were burned at the end!

Working on Upcoming self-education

2010-09-05T02:08:00.000-03:00

I have been working hard. As in, actually working a lot at my job (I'm the assistant manager at the local pagan shop). I had all of these plans in place for the next phase of learning for myself, had everything in place to work with a few people, and suddenly I was on my own again.

This is no fault of anyone. Stuff came up, and opportunities presented themselves which had to be taken advantage of.

So that set me back about a month. I had to refocus my efforts. I decided in mid-August that a September start would not be good, so I have the next month to figure out what my plans are.

Basically, I'm self-imposing a curriculum on myself for the next year. I have been known to torture myself in the past. Lately, I've been thinking that as we grow as witches, we often forget our roots. It's easy to start out learning the basic stuff (like stones or meditation), and slowly progress into the harder stuff (astral travel, reiki). Sometimes we're so busy flexing our newly formed pecs that we forget that our hamstrings need to be worked out to continue to hold us up.

And thus we have Remedial Witchcraft.

I haven't decided my exact curriculum yet, but I do know it will consist of 6 subjects, lasting 2 months a piece. My goal at the end is to have a big fat BOS and a lot of re-flexed brain muscles.

On another note, I have a ton of stuff to post. Book info from stuff I've read, crafty projects, etc. Our good friend Mercury is retrograde, so I blame that for the communication fail...

WTF Reading list.

2010-08-05T22:20:00.001-03:00

Geez.

I know I run the risk of hoarding books. I try to give my collection a good purge every few months (yes, months) to make room for new stuff.

I was going through the shelf, and I realized that I still have a number of books that I have never read or never finished.

12 books.

12.

So, while I am still going to pick up new books (I have an out-of-print used copy of Earth Magic by Marian Weinstein on hold at work, as well as few other books on order), I'd like to get through the books on my shelf. I read pretty quickly, so I am going to endeavor to consume 3 books per month. That gives me lots of room (realistically, I can finish a book a day) to have a life and look into other pursuits as well.

My first 3:

Lughnasadh

2010-08-01T22:57:00.002-03:00

Lammas/Lughnasadh is the first of three harvest Sabbats. It is the last of the fire festivals for the year.Lammas signifies the death of Lugh, the Corn King.

This festival is also known as Lughnasadh It usually takes place on or near August 1.
Altar
For the Lammas altar: bread, corn, corn dolls, grapes, oranges, pears, poppy, sickle, sunflowers, wheat sheaves.

Traditional Herbs - goldenrod, peony, nasturtium, clover blossom, yarrow, heliotrope, boneset, vervain, Queen Anne's lace, myrtle, rose, sunflower, poppy, milkweed, Irish moss, mushroom, wheat, corn, rye, oat, barley, rice, garlic, onion, basil, mint, aloe, acacia, meadowsweet, apple leaf, raspberry leaf, strawberry leaf, bilberry leaf, blueberry leaf, mugwort, hops, holly, comfrey, marigold, grape vine, ivy, hazelnut, blackthorn, elder, and bee pollen.

Traditional Incense - -

Candle Colors - blue gray, brown, citrine, gold, green, light brown, orange, red, and yellow.

Magickal Stones - Cat's-eye, citrine, aventurine, golden topaz, obsidian, moss agate, rhodochrosite, clear quartz, marble, slate, granite, and lodestone.

Divinities
Fire dieties

Spells
At Litha, witches cast magick for: abundance, divorce, fertility, generosity, learning, letting go, marriage, priesthood, richness, sacrifice, separation, silence, sorrow, spirituality, and wealth.

Activities
- Make Lammas Bread
- Make sand candles to honor the Goddess and God of the sea.
- Collect rain and storm water for use in spellwork or to empower objects, add dried mugwort and store in glass bottles.
- Create and bury a Witches' Bottle.
- Make a corn dolly to save for next Imbolc.
- Make a corn wheel.
- Have a magickal picnic with libations to the earth of bread and wine.
- At this time, witches cast spells for connectedness, career, health, and financial gain. Spells for abundance are completely appropriate now. As the sun is growing weaker, it is a good time to do grounding and sun meditations, then use the golden rays of the sun (gathered during meditation) in spellcasting.
- Remember, the corn dolly you make now will be dressed and laid in the bride's bed at Imbolc.

Books that have changed my life: part 1

2010-07-27T23:26:00.002-03:00

I'm going to talk a bit about the books that have changed my life, and how they have reinforced who I am and what I believe.

When I was in fifth grade, I had this great teacher named Mr. Grady. He was my homeroom teacher, but mostly taught English. He was an older man, but he was still excited about teaching, especially when it came to writing and reading.

Near the end of that year, he had us read Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson. Wikipedia lists the synopsis:

Jesse (a.k.a. Jess) Aarons, the only boy in a family of five children, lives in rural southwest Virginia. His mother favors his sisters Brenda, Ellie, May Belle, and Joyce Ann, while his father works in Washington, D.C., and therefore spends little time with his children. May Belle, the second youngest sister, adores and admires Jesse. Leslie Burke is an only child who moves from Arlington, Virginia, to the same area as Jesse. Her parents, both writers, are wealthy. Jess and Leslie soon become close friends. Jess shares his secret love of drawing with Leslie, and Leslie shares with Jess her love of fantasy stories. With this new friendship, the two children create an imaginary kingdom in the woods near their homes, accessible only by a rope swing over a creek. They name the kingdom Terabithia and declare themselves King and Queen, and they spend every day after school there. In Terabithia, they are able to face their real-world fears.

That was my childhood, aside from the rope swing and creek. I spent the majority of my childhood living in a tiny village (pop. 100) The woods were my playground, the moss and ferns my playhouse. My best friend and I (a boy a year younger than I) used to go into the woods and pretend to be king and queen of the forest. Since I was young, I have had a love and devotion to the forest.

Reading this book opened my eyes in a way I never thought it would. I have been obsessed about this little book since then. In eighth grade, I built myself a treehouse in the trees near my apartment to have somewhere quiet to write.

On top of the pure literary influence, there is also a musical influence. There is a teacher in the book - Miss Edmunds. She's a hippie. She sings this song to the children to teach them that is it alright to be themselves. Our music teacher, Miss Harnum, came in one day to sing it to us, and since then, I have been transformed.

I still sing this song to myself (and have it on my iPod) because it's message of tolerance, environmental stewardship, and equality has a way of bringing me out of any funk.

Just a note

2010-07-11T22:47:00.002-03:00

Just a quick pop-in - I have moved and am getting settled!

Expect an actual meaty post within the next few days.

Litha

2010-06-21T23:03:00.000-03:00

Litha celebrates the summer equinox. As pagans, we use this time to prepare for the harvest season. The Goddess is pregnant with child, just as the earth is bearing children of her own, in the form of fruits and seeds. The God stands tall, now a man, in his full maturity.
Litha is a time of gatherings, whether gathering herbs or having a gathering of friends. Individually, this is a time to reaffirm our commitment to the craft.

This festival is also known as Midsummer and the Summer Solstice It usually takes place on or near June 22.
Altar
For the Litha altar: Decorate with summer flowers and fruit, place sprigs of oak and holly on the altar to represent the Oak and Holly kings. Milk is often substituted for wine in ritual. Red or Gold Altar cloth.

Traditional Herbs - Carnation, Chamomile, Cinnamon, Cinquefoil, Copal, Daisy, Elder, Fennel, Fern, Feverfew, Five finger grass, Frankincense, Hemp, Honeysuckle, Ivy, Lavender, Lemon, Lily, Meadowsweet, Mint, Mugwort, Myrrh, Oak, Orange, Pine, Rose, Rue, Saffron, St. John’s Wort, Thyme, Verbena, Vervain, Wisteria, and Ylang-Ylang.

Traditional Incense - Lavender, Musk, Violet, Tangerine, and Rose

Candle Colors - Blue, Gold, Green, Red, Tan, Orange and Yellow.

Magickal Stones - Ruby, Garnet, Diamond, Seashell, Herkimer Diamond, Clear Quartz Crystal, Amber, Citrine, Cat's-eye, Yellow Topaz, Yellow Tourmaline, Gold, Silver, Peridot, Carnelian, and Calcite

Divinities
All fertility goddesses, including Litha, Vivian, Brighid, Cerridwen, Ishtar, Astarte, Aphrodite, Yemaya, Oshun, Aine, Frigga, Freya.
All Sun and fertility gods, including Pan, Cernunnos, Tammuz, Lugh, Balder, Apollo, and Ra.

Spells
At Litha, witches cast magick for: Faery magick, protection, purification, love/sex spells. Fire magick. Animal blessings or magick. A good time for scrying and divination. Traditionally the Great Rite, symbolic or actual, is enacted.

Activities
- Jump the balefire, cauldron or candle. Burn the Yule wreath now. If you made Sun Wheels at Imbolc, they should be displayed prominently. - Paint witches runes (the hagalaz rune), hex signs or other six-pointed figures on wood, paper, or what have you for protection. Hang indoors or out.
- Midsummer is Gathering Day. Gather plants in the wild, being careful that they don't touch the ground after being cut (their magickal energy will drain into the earth). Perform herbal magick. Go here for the magickal uses of plants.The Teutons gathered ash sticks at Midsummer for wands, walking sticks, staffs, stangs and staves. Decorate with magickal symbols, feathers, sigils, words, fabric, ribbon, or whatever you want.
- Make God's Eyes to be used as a protective talisman or for decoration, or gather buckeye's (horse chestnuts), which was sacred to some Native Americans and used protective amulets. Talismans for our animals' collars should be blessed and given at this time. - Make a solar wheel. Wind palm or grape vine into a circle, twisting as you go. Cut two short lengths of stem to be just a bit larger than the diameter of the circle and place one across the back horizontally and one vertically. Decorate with symbols of the elementals -- stones, feathers, shells, etc. and festoon with yellow ribbons. Hang in a tree or inside as a reminder of the God/dess' protection.
- Make a witches ladder. I incorporate a general purpose ladder into my Midsummer tradition, passing them over the fire before hanging. I'll do specific ones throughout the year as needed. Tie ends and hang up.
- Commune in the garden at daybreak. (The flower faeries are powerful at this time.) Light votive candles and leave offerings, libations, and gifts for the faeries -- cookies or cakes, fruit, a chalice with spring water (covered to keep bugs out), honey, butter, wine or milk. Bring the water indoors later if it is needed in the ritual. Use it to attract faery power or in magick, as it heightens psychic ability and energy.
- Cut any herbs that are ready for harvest on this day.
- Look for the faery folk under the elder tree.
- Gallop through garden on Midsummer's Eve on a broomstick to ensure a bountiful harvest and personal fertility.
- Celebrate the day outside hiking, bike riding, swimming, and participating in other summertime activities.

A few promised prayer bead photos

2010-06-17T00:23:00.002-03:00

I finally got around to taking some (albeit horrible) photos of a few sets of my prayer beads. I just got finished working a 14 hour day (8 hours at work, and the rest of the evening making prayer beads) so the shots aren't the best, but you get the idea.

Tree Agate

Seraphanite

Howlite

Sodalite

Elemental: snow quartz, aventurine, jasper, and sodalite.

In which I promise to update more in July!

2010-06-16T21:41:00.003-03:00

I am so sorry for the lack of updates. I am in the midst of packing to move in 2 weeks.

Once I get settled, I definitely will have more to talk about!

Until July, July, my friends.

Spells that worked: Me edition

2010-05-31T13:01:00.003-03:00

I am happy to report that my 'finding an apartment' spell worked better than I could have hoped for.

I searched and searched for apartments in my range. It was impossible, since I was looking for a cheaper apartment in a more expensive area. Then my boss gave me a sizeable raise and bumped up my hours, raising my range about $100. I applied for one place and didn't get it, but my friend Elizabeth found out an apartment was available in her building for July. We applied and were approved swiftly!

It has all the specifics I asked for (balcony, dishwasher, quiet, great building), and our neighbors seem like they'll be great. The landlord is by far the nicest landlord I've met. We move for July 1st, but hopefully a few days before that.

When I move in to the new place, my plan is to burn the paper in my cauldron on the balcony, and bury the jade in one of my plants.

I wish I could cast a spell to do all my packing! :P

Music

2010-05-09T23:28:00.005-03:00

I generally spend my time wondering why most pagan music is either folk or death metal - and wishing for something in-between. I want something akin to Death Cab for Cutie.

That said, we make do with what we have. I have a few pagan CDs in my collection. I tend to be drawn to chants and useful ritual songs even though I can't sing worth a damn. I am really liking SJ Tucker right now, though.

Beltane

2010-05-01T12:59:00.001-03:00

Beltane the time at which the God and Goddess have reached full sexual maturity. In old times, Beltane was the time when the people of a town came together to help each other with planting. Balefires were lit , and women would jump over the flames.Later in the night, couples would pair off . In the morning, they return and dance around the Maypole together, in a celebration of life, and of love. Besoms were ridden hobbyhorse-style through fields by women in symbolic fertility rites. Menstruating women ran and danced naked in the newly-sown fields.

This festival is also known as Beltane, Beltaine, Beltain and May Day It usually takes place on or near May 1.
It is a great festival of rebirth, and compliments Samhain. Love is in the air at Beltane. In our rituals, we celebrate the union between the Great Mother and her young Horned God. Their coupling brings fresh new life on Earth. Some form of this Great Rite is enacted on this sabbat in nearly every modern pagan circle. The Great Rite symbolizes the sacred marriage, or sexual union, of the the Lord and Lady. Often the rite is performed symbolically by a male and female who place a knife (a phallic symbol) into a chalice (a female or yonic symbol).

Altar
For the Beltane altar: Drape the altar in a green cloth and decorate it with blooming flowers and herbs.

Traditional Herbs - All-Heal, Blessed thistle, Broom, Curry, Daffodil, Dogwood, Coriander, Dragon's Blood reed, Fern, Fireweed, Nettle, Flaxseed, Hawthorn, Marjoram, Paprika, Radish, Rue, Snapdragon, Mushroom, Almond, Meadowsweet, Rose, Woodruff, Tansy, and Elder leaves.

Traditional Incense - Rose, Jasmine, Ylang, Peach, Musk, or Vanilla.

Candle Colors - Blue, Brown, Dark Yellow, Green, Pink, Red, White, and Yellow.

Magical Stones - Malachite, Garnet, Rose Quartz, Emerald, Beryl, and Tourmaline.

Divinities
Aphrodite, all Love, or Moon Goddesses.
Pan, and Dionysus are also appropriate.

Spells
At Beltane, witches cast for Abandon, Assertion, Beauty, Creativity, Desire, Expansion, Expressiveness, Excitement, Fertility Magic, Fulfillment, Hand Fasting, Life, Passion, Phallic Magic, Prosperity, Sensuality, Sexuality, Union, Warmth, and Willfulness. .

Activities
-Jump the balefire. The bonfire, or need-fire, is one of the oldest Beltane traditions. When lighting the fire, use nine sacred woods from the following list: oak, apple, hawthorn, birch, elder, ash, blackthorn, grape vine, mountain ash (rowan), holly, willow, cedar, yew, and hemlock. Ashes from the balefire can be scattered in the fields as a fertility charm. Women wishing to conceive can tie a bag of the ashes around their necks.
-Traditionally, cattle and other animals were driven between two fires for protection, healing, and purification. Modern pagans can ritually purify tools or other things in the balefire. Jump the dying embers of the fire for summer blessings.
-Dance around the maypole.
-Gather the first wild herbs of the season.
-Go a-Mayin' by going to the woods and fields to gather flowers. Take a picnic.
-Wash your face in dew at sunrise on Beltane for beauty in the coming year. (Traditionally the dew from the hawthorn tree, but dew from grass and flowers will do.)
-Make daisy chains and fresh flower wreaths and chaplets (head dresses) to wear and to place atop the maypole. Braid flowers in your hair. Make and wear leafy green masks to represent the Green Man who has returned.
-Make a wish at the hawthorn tree, a tree associated with faeries. Place strips of cloth symbolizing your wish in the tree (the color should be appropriate to the nature of your wish, i.e. blue for health, pink or red for love, green or gold for prosperity). Take some time to attune to the tree. When you feel you have contacted its spirit, visualize your wish coming true as you hook the cloth on one of the tree's thorns, chanting your wish. When you have finished, leave a gift for the tree.
-Make love in the woods. Beltane is the time of year when the Goddess and God consummate their passions. Traditionally it is a time when lovers pledge to live together for a year and a day. At the end of the period, they may part ways if things haven't worked out. If all has gone well, they may make plans for a handfasting at Midsummer.
-Commune with the faeries.
-Mark the boundaries of your circle with oatmeal, a traditional Beltane grain.

Not really sure what to do.

2010-04-25T00:26:00.005-03:00

I am generally not the type of person to thrive on drama - I actually really hate it and attempt to avoid it at all costs. This current situation that has arisen has vexed me to the point of having to vent it all out.

I run a group with 2 other people - both of whom I have known for a long time. We hold monthly meetings and the occasional ritual. We have been doing so for 3 years now. We work very closely with one of the other groups in town.

This one witch, with whom I had no idea we were on the outs (people do love to surprise, right?) has written some pretty unkind (and untrue) things on her blog. I refuse to link the blog or give any clues to who she may be because that just continues to perpetuate the drama. She calls us cliquish, self-centred, and says that we do things we don't do (like kick people out for not showing up to meetings or not listen to our members). She calls our topics mundane. She says she doesn't connect with us, and every meeting she has been to has been about environmental stuff or planning stuff (which may very well be true - I have seen her only a few times at meetings). That we have the same 6 people.

Let me just address this: mistaking 'organizers' with 'clique' is silly. We are the organizers. We work closely together to co-ordinate meetings and rituals. There is a deep sense of trust and reliability - these are people I can do magic with. I am dating on of the other organizers, so of course we are close. We have always been welcoming to others coming to meetings - THIS IS WHY WE STARTED THE GROUP. We have seen people come and go. We have a few repeat guests, so we get to know those people the most because they are the ones who show up. If someone doesn't connect with us, that's no fault of ours. Unfortunately, we cannot fulfill every need or niche. So if it doesn't work, why not leave it at that?

If we were so self centred, we would have never started this group. This is a volunteer basis - we don't get paid to do this. This takes up a lot of free time, between running meetings, writing and running rituals (plus all the planning that goes into those) that if we were doing this for attention or to fulfill some narcissistic need, we could have chosen a much better vehicle to do so. It is a thankless job. We have asked our membership COUNTLESS times if we can do anything to improve our meetings; and as a note - we aren't shooting people down if we have a valid reason for disagreeing with them. We have never kicked out people for not showing up to meetings - we have kicked them out for being spammers or being from Belgium (aka not terribly local). We have questioned people's involvement, because with 130 members and a meeting turnout of 6 or 7, one has to question if they are doing anything wrong. I am not lazy, and I don't really want to spend my time enabling complacency - so I try to keep things on schedule. I'm a taskmaster, what can I say?

As for topics, we have had 26 topics in the last 2 1/2 years. All different, ranging from Men's Mysteries and the role of men in Paganism to the Paranormal, or holidays and altars. I'm sorry if we don't do social coffee nights, or talk about magical mystical faerie princesses. I don't want to work all day, and then go to a meeting for 2 hours to hear people yak about their kids or their cats or whatever. It's a spiritual group - let's address spiritual topics.

I have said it before - this is not a paid job. I am not paid to be nice - though I generally strive to be nice to people. If someone is willing to do what I do to the quality of how I do it, or do it better, go ahead. I can deal with a lot of crap and complaints, but the thing I don't appreciate is having all of this bullshit drama aired all over the internet. I want to avoid all of this high school stuff. I'm 28 years old - not some kid. If there is a problem that needs to be addressed, perhaps addressing it in the venue that we have provided to do so would be better that anonymously slagging us BY NAME on a blog. I don't really want to chew out an entire group, so I make my vexation here.

So I have vented all of this, and it is out of my system. I don't really know what to do or where to go from here. I just keep telling myself that it's one person. I can take constructive critique - hell, I went to school for 2 years to learn that skill. However, when it becomes personal and attacks against my personality, I get angry. When people address my group BY NAME while they're slagging it, it pisses me off.

The kicker? This person had the same issues earlier last year - someone slagging her on their blog. She also recently started her own group. You know what? Good for her. Sincerely. I hope it works out for her and she finds what she needs so she stops complaining about and shit-talking us. :)

Cosmetically natural

2010-03-31T23:38:00.004-03:00

I have been striving to start using products that are better for me. My only requirement is that they be within my budget (which isn't very much) and be more healthy than the mainstream alternative. I also plan on using up the remainder of my makeup and stuff - it would be wasteful not to.

Used to use: Fructis Shampoo and Conditioner

Switched to: Yes to Carrots! Organic Shampoo and Conditioner

What I like about Y2C is that it doesn't contain SLS (sodium laurel sulfide). It contains mostly organic ingredients. The only questionable ingredient I have found is Dehydroacetic Acid, which is a type of fungicide. They post the ingredients on their website, and a portion of their proceeds goes to a sustainable agriculture charity. I have noticed a big difference in softness and scalp condition since starting this regime - no more itching! My next experiment when this stuff is done is the baking soda shampoo routine.

Used to use: regular boxed hair dye

switched to: Lush henna (caca) blocks.

While this is a process (it takes about 6 hours, start to finish), once you find a system it is not that difficult. I actually enjoy hennaing my hair. It gives me time to putter about the house, or read, or catch up on some stuff online. It gives me time for me, which I rarely get. The time factor, and the messiness (which, again, once you find a system, is minimal) are really the only cons. I have been using henna for years, and there is nothing like freshly henna'd hair. It is soft, shiny, and full of life. Unlike commercial, chemical dyes, you don't lose strands in the process. You can add other herbs and spices to affect the colour. My current favorite is the Caca Noir. My hair has been a lovely dark brown since December. All of their products are ethical and wonderful.

Used to use: Dove Soap

Switched to: Moonsnail Soapworks AND Lush

I have rather sensitive skin. Ivory makes my skin peel, and I need something with a little exfoliant due to hereditary keratosis on my arms. I have loved Moonsnail a long time (it's made in my home town), but I switch it up every once in a while with Lush, because I also love their soaps.

Used to use: facial lotion
Switched to: grapeseed oil and lavender

I made the switch a while back. As I said, I have pretty dry skin. My skin is much softer now.

Used to use: Desert Essence Roll-on Deodorant
Switched to: Homemade!

While my old deodorant wasn't bad for me, I had to apply twice as often. I constantly had to carry it with me. I recently tried this recipe and over the past 4 days, have only had to apply in the morning. No smell after several hours of work! I am impressed. The only down side is having to keep it in the fridge - makes for awkwardness while traveling. I am going to attempt in making the solid stuff when my boyfriend's current deodorant runs out and I can steal the container!

Used to use: Always menstrual pads

Switched to: Natracare Organic Cotton pads

Okay, TMI: The soreness I had from using those bleached cotton suckers was enough to make me cry. I switched on a whim and have never looked back. I am now considering switching to the Divacup, when I can get the $50 together.

There are lots of other alternatives out there. I plan on switching over some of my makeup when it comes to replace it for more organically sourced products. It always means paying a little more than the cheaper, more widely available stuff, but it's an investment in your health. You wouldn't use inferior products on your kids or pets - why would you use it on yourself?

Moving spells

2010-03-26T01:16:00.002-03:00

I have been quite busy recently. We (myself and my partners) recently gave our notice to move - we have until July. We were trying to transfer to another building, but that wasn't going to happen. It's been a big source of stress and anxiety (as any uncertain living situation would be). On top of that, I had a class to teach on Tuesday, so I was working a lot on that (which went very well. Lots of compliments, which is great because it was my first class).

A few weeks ago, I hung out with my friend Elizabeth, and we made some spell candles. We focused on luck (she's trying to figure out how to buy a house, I'm trying to find the right apartment in my price range). We ended up with gold (but kinda more like yellowy green) votives with a mixture of herbs (rose, white oak, and star anise). I have been trying to burn mine nightly.

My boyfriend and I have stalled a bit on the teaching, too (our apartment is full of boxes, so that makes it hard). I want to get into showing him some simple spellwork. I wrote up a really quick spell, which I've yet to cast. Here it is:

You will need:
- Paper/description of your ideal home
- Brown Candle
- a piece of Jade
- ribbon or twine
- sea salt

Instructions:
Wrap the paper/description around the Jade. Seal it with your spit.

Use the sea salt to form a small circle around the bundle. Inscribe the candle with your intentions. Light it, saying the following phrase:

"a happy home is what I seek, listen here these words I speak. A home of joy, comfort, and love - bring to me, powers above."

Light the candle and drip some of the wax on the bundle. Burn the candle within a week. When the spell comes to fruition, burn the paper, and bury the jade on your new property.

I'm thinking I'll perform it on the new moon in April, which is just before my birthday. It would be a great present to have all of this stress alleviated.

Ostara

2010-03-20T23:32:00.000-03:00

Ostara is a time for welcoming of the return of spring, and marks the date when night and day are of equal lengths.

This festival is also known as Eostre It usually takes place around March 22.
Ostara is the time when the God and Goddess have reached their adolescence and are becoming sexually alert, just as the world around us is thawing from a cold winter.

Altar
For the Ostara altar: Decorate the circle with spring wildflowers. Place an earthenware or wooden bowl containing soil or a large seed of some kind on the altar.

Traditional Herbs - Lily of the Valley, Tansy, Lavender, Marjoram, Thyme, Tarragon, Lovage, Lilac, Violets, Lemon balm, Dogwood, Honeysuckle, Oakmoss, Orrisroot, Sunflower seeds, Rose hips, Oak, Elder, Willow, Crocus, Daffodil, Jonquil, Tulip, Meadowsweet, Acorn, Trefoil (purple clover) and Vervain.

Traditional Incense -Jasmine, or see above.

Candle Colors - Light Green, Yellow, Mauve

Magickal Stones - Clear Quartz , Rose Quartz, Agate, Lapis Lazuli, Amazonite, and Garnet

Divinities
Aphrodite, Minerva, Eostre and all Virgin, Love, or Moon Goddesses.
Green Man, Adonis, Osiris, and Mithras are also appropriate.

Spells
At Ostara, witches cast for abundance, awakening, balance, communication, fertility magick, growth, new beginnings, passion, phallic magick, renewal, sacrifice, seed planting, transformation, union, willfulness, and worldly activities.

Activities
Perform a seed blessing and indoor planting ritual.
Have a traditional breakfast of buns, ham, and eggs.
Make natural egg dyes from herbs.
Color hard boiled eggs and add symbols for the Fertility God, the Goddess, the Sun God, unity, fire, water, agriculture, prosperity and growth, strength and wisdom, spring, love and affection, and protection.
Consecrate the eggs: In the name of the Goddess of Spring, (name); and the ever-returning God of the Sun, (name); The eggs may be hidden and an Ostara Egg Hunt commences.
Make pysanky and krashanky, magickal amulets of fertility, protection, and prosperity.
Make hot cross buns to honor the union of the earth and the sun for Spring.
Slash the "X" with the bolline and bless the cakes.
Toss crushed eggshells into the garden and say: For fairy, for flowers, for herbs in the bowers, The shells pass fertility with springtime flowers.
Wear green clothing.
Eat an egg you have empowered with a quality you desire.
On Ostara Eve, light a purple or violet candle and burn patchouli incense. Carry them both through the house, and say: Farewell to wintry spirits and friends; On morrow we greet the spirits of spring. Our blessings to thee as your way we wend; And merry we'll meet next winter again. Blow out the candle and say: Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again. At this time, witches cast spells for careers, relationships, and love. It's a time for planting new ideas. Seek harmony and balance in the incredible energy of the season, and project good health, good fortune, and confidence in achieving goals.

More altars (and some recent opinions)

2010-03-03T00:07:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the lapse in updates - my boyfriend brought home the plague, so I've been working through that for the last week.

We've (my yet unnamed group consisting of myself and my partner) decided to keep working on the elemental stuff, but do it 2 weeks at a time - this next section is on Earth. Here is a photo of my recent altar - I was going for a more primal feeling. I always feel that way when I work with earth.

As for recent news - I read a story recently on The Wild Hunt about a student that was told to stop building a Wiccan altar in his shop class. I won't go into too much detail about the story (which you can read via the link) but the teacher's justification was wrong. He claimed that he also had asked a student to not build a cross in the same class in the past.

He actually has no right to do that. Unless the student was using said cross to attempt to convert other students, and attempting to spread hatred or discomfort in any way, that student had every right to build his cross. The same logic applies to the Wiccan student. He wasn't setting up altar in the middle of class, nor was he attempting to convert or infringe on anyone's rights.

Unfortunately, the issue has caused some backlash with students of the school (very small, less than 200 students), with a petition of over 70 names being circulated, claiming not to want witchcraft in the school. Frankly, the administration is being pretty reasonable about it, but it really is unfair for the wiccan student to have to deal with the harassment for the rest of the school year.

When will people learn that basing opinions and thoughts on fear of the unknown is ignorant and provincial?

Stuff You Should Know

2010-02-15T22:19:00.002-04:00

Recently, Stuff You Show Know (a podcast from howstuffworks.com) did a podcast on Witchcraft. Surprisingly, it was well researched and 90% correct. Their pronounciations of words was a little off (co-ven, sa-bat, athayme), but it was enjoyable.

Give it a listen! Here is the link.

New Altars

2010-02-09T23:35:00.004-04:00

I recently acquired a new Ganesha statue, so I had to rearrange my household altars to accomidate it (so little space, so much stuff!).

Ganesha (I have a small bowl on the altar so people can offer wishes and prayers (in the form of pennies) to him). I have wanted this statue forever and I have finally got it. It's so heavy, but I am so thankful and blessed to have him in my home.

We're studying elements for the next month. This is a water altar for this week.

Moved/revamped pet altar.

Moved/revamped Air altar.

Rearranged Earth altar

Repurposed fairy altar (with newly acquired salt lamp)

Permanent water altar (yes, on a toilet top)

My boyfriend's water altar with his Aphrodite statue. The statue has a funny story - I found it at Value Village for $3. At one point it fell over and broke in pieces, which I pasted back together using superglue, black masking tape, and black nail polish. It seems to be holding up, almost a year later.

I have only my fire altar to redo, but I always enjoy redoing altars. It makes things feel new and fresh. All the incense is cleansing as well, and I certainly burned enough tonight.

Creating the Coven

2010-02-05T21:43:00.004-04:00

Lately, I have really wanted to get back into personal practice. I have wanted to get a group up and running. Now, I co-run a public group with some really wonderful folks, but I am missing the closeness of a smaller group.

A few years ago, I had a great little 3 person group. We got together weekly and studied spiritual stuff for a few hours. We did homework and learned from one another. I have been a member of quite a few groups, all of which have ended for whatever reason. I guess I like the motivation of having a few people all focused on one thing.

My issue is that it is so hard to work around people's schedules. Everyone is always busy with one thing or another, and no one can find the time to commit. I know what it is like to be busy, but it is all about time management - and a lot of people lack the skill to plan their lives. I have planned public rituals in the busiest time of my school career, I have run meetings after working 6 hours, and then had to go to school to shoot for 3 hours. I'm not trying to say that my life is harder than anyone else, but if I can do it, anyone can. They just have to be willing to try and make it a priority.

I think a lot of people look at spirituality as something for convenience sake. 'Oh, I'll do it when I have time.' Make time. Christians do it all the time. Muslims do it 5 times a day. Take 2 hours a week and do something within your belief structure. Meditate. Work a spell. Chant. Do a gratitude ritual. Read a book, and write about it in your Book of Shadows. Now, take those things, and add other people to the mix. See? Not difficult.

I think until I can find serious people who are willing to devote the time to growing spiritually, I'm going to be out of luck. Until those folks can materialize, I'll stick to studying with my partner. I'm far too old and impatient to deal with flakes that can't show up once a week for 2 hours.

Are modern Pagans outdoor-phobic?

2010-01-29T21:11:00.004-04:00

I was sitting and thinking the other night about ritual. I'm going to be running a class on writing rituals in a few months in the pagan shop where I work, so I was trying to think of examples of the best rituals I have been to. I realized that fully 70% of them were held outdoors in some location or another. They range from small, intimate rituals to more public affairs.

Now, I get it. I live in Canada. No one one wants to go out in the middle of a snowstorm to celebrate Yule. In fact, Yule, Imbolc, and Ostara (if there is snow) are often the only few I CAN see being indoor rituals because, let's face it, it's cold. What I can never understand is the need to have rituals indoors when it is perfectly nice outside. Ostara muddy? Wear some goddamn rubber boots. Chilly Samhain? Wear a scarf and quit bitching.

We're supposed to see the earth as sacred and divine - how are we accomplishing that when we are separating ourselves from it? We're almost divorcing ourselves from the concept of earth reverence, because we're putting all these modern conveniences between ourselves, and the earth, watering down devotion so it 'suits us'. Let me tell you this: in ancient Greece, do you really think the temple priestess would have said 'oh, it's raining a bit, let's just skip this because we might get wet'? HELL NO. They had the 'fear of God(s)' instilled in their bones. You did what they Gods wanted, and that meant rain or shine. I guess they realized that you wouldn't melt if you went out into the rain. Nowadays, they have these wonderful inventions called raincoats and umbrellas and they keep you dry.

I'm not advocating running out into a blizzard with -20 C temperatures in a robe to run a ritual last a few hours, or out into a field at night to get devoured by mosquitos. I'm not stupid. Sometimes, in our climate, it necessitates us to remain indoors for the safety of the group. Sometimes, the ritual is set up in such a way that being inside is necessary. So many of us, though, are so afraid to get dirty or uncomfortable. Here's a newsflash - nature ISN'T comfortable. Nature is full of prickly, itchy, cold, wet, muddy beauty. That doesn't mean we should dive straight into the poison ivy bush - but it doesn't mean we shouldn't go out into the woods and enjoy the beauty as it is, with a deep reverence and respect (and a little healthy fear). I will never understand someone being able to connect to the strength of an oak in the middle of my living room - there is too much between me and that tree that it become too jarbled. It's the worst game of telephone.

I guess it's a big pet peeve for me because I DO plan a lot of rituals, and I try to plan as many of them outside as possible. Quite frankly, I have no patience for whiners complaining about every single thing while outside (it's too cold, it's muddy, there's too many rocks, wah wah wah) doing a ritual. Perhaps it's my Aries energy, or my lack of patience for immaturity and stupidity. The earth is covered with concrete, sidewalks, cars, and people-pollution. The most sacred place to honor someone is in their own home - I don't see the earth as any different. Have a little respect, because this is OUR home.

Imbolc

2010-01-28T19:28:00.003-04:00

This festival is also known as Candlemas, Oimelc, Imbolg, Brighid's Day, Lady Day, and Feast of Pan. It usually takes place around February 2nd. This holiday is not common to all Pagans. Brigid (pronounced Breed) is the Celtic goddess of Fire, Poetry and Healing. She is also another representation of fertility and Love. Bridgid had such a strong following among the Celts that the Christian church decided it was easier to just assimilate her into their own system. Hand crafts are usually sacrificed to Brigid or are dedicated to her on this day. All Yule decorations must be taken down at this time, as it is bad luck to cling to winter. Let us welcome Spring!

Altar
Decorate the altar with white flowers. Have a white votive candle within the cauldron. Lay your besom upon the altar.

Traditional Herbs - Angelica, Basil, Bay, Benzoin, Celadine, Heather, Myrrh and all yellow flowers.

Traditional Incense - Basil, Myrrh, and Wisteria

Candle Colors - White, Pink, Red and Brown

Magickal Stones - Clear Quartz, Citrine, Yellow Tourmaline, Green Tourmaline, Rose Quartz, Hematite, Lodestone, Ruby, Garnet, Red Zircon, and Pearls.

Divinities
Brigid in her maiden aspect.
The Three-Fold Fire of Brighid
Fire in the forge that shapes and tempers
Fire in the cauldron that nourishes and heals
Fire in the head that incites and inspires

Spells
At Imbolg, witches cast for fertility and protection in their lives. Imbolg is a good time to get your life in order, spiritually,mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Activities
Burn the Yule greens to send winter on its way.
Make the Bride's Bed using the corn or wheat doll make the previous Lughnasadh.
Make a Candle Wheel. Create a sun wheel or Brigid's Cross for each room in the house. Burn the old ones.
Hang a scarf outside on the eve of Imbolg and Brigid will bless it with healing powers.
Place three ears of corn on the door as symbol of the Triple Goddess and leave until Ostara.
Imbolg is a traditional time for Witches' dedications, rededications, and initiations.
Cleanse your sacred space and altar tools with a simple Imbolg besom rite.
For a simple Imbolg observance, light a white candle and burn sandalwood.
Cleanse the area where you do card readings or scrying with a censer, burning rosemary or vervain, and say: By the power of this smoke, I wash away the negative influences that this place be cleansed for the Lady and her babe.
Make dream pillows for everyone in the family.
On Imbolg Eve, it is customary to leave food and drink out for Brigid - buttered bread, milk, grains, or seeds. Also leave buttered bread in a bowl indoors for the faeries who travel with the Lady of the Greenwood. Next day, dispose of it outside as the "essence" has been removed.
Let this be the traditional time that you make candles for the coming year, infusing them with color, power, herbs, and scent depending on the magickal purpose. Bless candles that you will be using for rituals throughout the year.
Imbolg is the traditional time to collect stones for new magick circles and general magickal use.

Goals, thoughts, and huh.

2010-01-09T21:22:00.000-04:00

I am currently working on two classes - as in, I'm teaching them. I want to have my notes and structure done before the end of the month, so that I can spend the next few months going back and making adjustments if I need to to. It's a lot of research and planning and pacing (as I tend to talk quickly). I am teaching one on creating personal ritual for groups or solitaries (based on my own system) and one on the wheel of the year (myths, traditions, origins, and activities). I am hoping that working on both of these will help bring more spiritual depth back into my life. My adventure last year was wonderful, but it was exhausting and I don't even know where to begin my own practice again. I really need to make it a priority, because I know that it can become put on the back burner when it comes to school and life. I need to learn to practice for myself again, with my own rules and my own thoughts - as opposed to a more structured system. I'm pretty organized, and I can pinpoint my own beliefs, it's just drawing them back out again. I've had an itch to get working again.

I also have to set some realistic goals for myself for the next year (and I hesitate to say 'year', because it surely could go on longer, or be shorter). I like having things to work towards, and I think it's important so I can keep some sort of focus to guide me. I shall break them down, one by one.

1. Let go. There are a lot of hurts I am carrying - be it about being at NSCC and shaved from people's lives, or removing betrayers from my life, or even having zero social life because not one other person I know is capable of picking up a phone or dropping a mail to see if perhaps I would like to hang out (not that I expect people to drop everything - I'm not a moron. I am, however, the one who always does the calling to make plans, and I have been since high school. Just because I am good at organizing people together doesn't mean I like it...). I hang on to these things for dear life, as though they were oars in my lifeboat. They aren't. I have to accept certain facts of life; some people are far too immature to have lasting relationships, some people are toxic, and some people don't realize they are shunting you aside. I have to learn to let these things go so that I can move on as a person. If I learn to stop dragging along the past, I will draw people to me who are willing to go the extra mile and be friends, without all the extra drama bullshit.

2. Take more photos. This is a necessity. I have a diploma from an accredited school and I am doing nothing with it. I got really burnt out when I was in school, so I didn't want to think about my camera (or assignments or grades) for awhile. I think it's pure fear (what if my skills are gone? what if I suck and I wasted a bunch of cash?) coupled with the fact that I don't hang out with people or go out anymore. Where do I go to take photos? How many pictures of my cats do I really need? I just need to find the confidence to do this again and just not care.

3. Wii Fit. Critics will slam it and say it's useless, but I lost 5 lbs in about a month using it. It gave me routine and got me active, even if it was just step aerobics, hula hooping, and yoga. I set it aside during the summer when I thought I would be more active, but I ended up pretty much losing most of my social connections, and spent most of the summer at work or inside (2009 really sucked, okay?). I want to start using it again daily, and though I am getting exercise walking to Pier 21 3 days a week, I'd like to feel less schlumpy and more alive.

4. Couch to 5K. It is my goal to do this when it starts getting warm enough to do it (so, mid-late April). I started it, and then I pulled my back and never continued (unrelated. It also started snowing, so that was it for me). It's really to say that I did it, and to build up my lung capacity.

5. Remain myself, and reassure myself that I am, in fact, pretty awesome once you get to know me (and get past that initial awkwardness and shyness). I'm weird. I just am. I'm weirdly introverted, but I love the company of people. I say awkward things (mostly due to not knowing what to say and having a hard time realizing that not everyone is as geeky as me and may not get my jokes), but I am pretty neat once you get to know me.

6. Get another tattoo. Please.

7. Write more. I need to do more writing - be it blogging, free writing, journaling, or fiction.

8. Give every pagan holiday a proper celebration. We are often so tempted to let stuff slide on the wayside. I want ti participate or do a ritual for every holiday this year. I think it will help me get on track.

And so I leave on those thoughts. I have some writing to do for my (teaching) classes, and I have school errands to do tomorrow before my school class.

Blessed Solstice to you all.

2009-12-21T20:39:00.000-04:00

THIS LONGEST NIGHT
© 1993 Deirdre Pulgram Arthen
On Solstice night, the winter comes
Stalking through the antlered trees,
Riding on the frozen wind.
With hoof and horn, this longest night
Brings round once more
The ancient, endless joust:
Light and Dark contest for power,
And Light, this night, shall triumph.

Favorite Christmas songs

2009-12-12T22:58:00.003-04:00

As it draws nearer to both Yule and Christmas, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite holiday songs with you.

Yule

2009-12-02T14:24:00.001-04:00

Yule is the beginning of the wheel. The Sun God is reborn, son of the Goddess. The days grow longer as the God grows stronger.

This festival is also known as Winter Rite, Midwinter, Winter Solstice. It usually takes place between Dec 20-23, the longest night of the year. The Goddess gives birth to her child, the sun, soon to be lover, and father to the child in the next cycle.

It's a time of sharing, giving gifts, and welcoming the light, by remembering the gifts of darkness.

Preparing Your Altar
Decorate circle with holly, mistletoe, ivy, pine, pine cones, a Yule Log, and place ash twigs in the cauldron (to burn for prosperity).

Yule Activities
Sing pagan solstice carols.
Decorate the Yule tree.
For personalized wrapping papers, cut a pattern on a halved potato, then dip it into tempera paint and on to plain wrapping tissue paper.
For prosperity, burn ash wood. Yule blessings: wreath on the door, mistletoe indoors, food and clothing donations, sunflower seeds outside for birds, ring the bell to greet the Solstice Morn, and perform magick for a peaceful planet.
Gather up Yule greens after 12th night and save. At Imbolg, burn the greens to banish winter and usher in spring.
Make and burn a Yule Log.
Bake a Yule Log Cake.

Wassailing
Wassailing means "to wish health to" one's apple trees, in the hope that they will bear well. In addition, drums, bells, whistles etc. were used either to scare off evil spirits, or to wake the tree up; a libation of cider or ale was poured over the roots, and bread that had soaked in the 'wassailing' bowl was placed in the branches - an offering back to the tree.
* Wassail: 2 cups cranberry juice, 1/4 cup grenadine, 1 cup orange juice, 1/4 cup rum (optional).

Yule Fire Spell
On the darkest night of the year, gather together three dried leaves of holly and pulverize them into powder. On a clean, four-inch by four-inch piece of paper, write a single word in red ink that represents what quality you would like to be born within yourself along with the newborn Yule Sun.
Sprinkle the holly powder into the center of the papertwist the whole thing closed with the holly powder inside. Light the wick of a red candle, and from this flame, light the holly-filled paper on fire. As it burns, see your wish fulfilled. The spell is done.

Traditional Herbs - Bay, Bayberry, Blessed Thistle, Cedar, Juniper, Mistletoe, Moss, Sage, Oak, Chamomile, Evergreen, Frankincense, Holly , Pinecones, and Rosemary.

Traditional Incense - Pine, Bayberry, Rosemary, and Cedar.

Candle Colors - Gold, Green, Red, Silver, and White.

Magickal Stones - Clear Quartz, Jet, Ruby, Diamond, Garnet, Alexandrite, Kunzite, Citrine, Green Tourmaline, Blue Topaz, and Pearls.

***

Every Yule, there is usually a big feast and ritual held at the local Universalist Unitarian Church. We've attended almost every year.

I do remember one year that we bought some local pine boughs, went up into the woods and used the boughs as our cicle. We left them there, among the evergreens, firs, and pines, as an offering to welcome back the sun. I remember singing the 'Sound of Silence' to start the ritual.

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

I think I'll do a ritual aside from the public one this year.

Merry Christmas.... Happy Yule... whatever.

2009-12-02T14:08:00.004-04:00

I am rather lethargic about people wishing me a Merry Christmas. As in, I don't care.

I am not one of those Pagan folks who gets their knickers in a twist about it. I don't see the point in wasting energy being annoyed at someone, who, in most accounts, doesn't know I am not Christian. And quite frankly, they are often too ignorant of the possibility that someone could NOT be Christian that their greeting is often from the best intentions. Why on Gaia's green Earth would I go out of the way to correct them?

'Merry Christmas' at this time of year as is as ubiquitous as 'Hello'.

I do take issue, however, with the constant piping of Christmas music in malls and shops. And it's just the Jesus stuff. People can play 'Jingle Bells' to their heart's content. It's not to the point that I would throw a fit and demand they shut it off. I worked in a mall for years - I have a pretty high tolerance for the stuff. But it'd be nice to hear Winter Wonderland or Sleigh Ride or even Carol of the Bells as more secular options.

Crafting for the Craft

2009-11-17T21:33:00.003-04:00

As the days are getting shorter, I am finding myself taking more and more solace in creating. My mind is brimming with ideas - my wallet, not so much with capital. The creation of tools and items for magical practice always helps me reconnect and distract myself from the waning light.

My all consuming projects (aside from all the drawing practice for my possible entrance into art school) are pagan prayer beads, mini besoms (in pins and hanging), mini wands (pins and hanging as well), glass chalice painting, and a wheel of the year art piece. I also have ideas for cross-stitching and clay working.

Crafting is generally a meditative process for me. It helps to give me focus, and feel positive about what I am creating. All the frustration is usually worth it for me.

When I finish some of these projects, I will post some pictures. :)

Prayer.

2009-11-03T00:05:00.003-04:00

In one of my other blogs, I got on to the topic of prayer. I didn't really have the room to expand upon it, so here I will.

Prayer and I have rarely been friends. I used to pray a lot when I was a Christian - I always said the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary before bedtime. When I got a bit older, into my early teens, I also had conversations with Jesus. It wasn't even like I thought he was listening back, but I felt comforted by the fact that I felt he was always there. When I started into the path of agnosticism, I stopped praying all together. Consequently, I fell into a deep depression. I don't blame my depression on my change in path, but I am sure a slight correlation is there.

I rarely have prayed as a pagan, other than in a ritual setting when I feel somewhat comfortable. I haven't been able to get past my own insecurities, and worrying that I am bothering the deities with my petty requests.

This month, though, was different.

I spent a lot of time praying to Ganesha (I spent the month studying Hinduism). He is the remover of obstacles, so I would often pray to him and ask for things. In return, I offered up additional reverence for that evening. After the first time, it was so easy to pray. Even now, as I embark on a different path, I look forward to finding new deities to pray to. In making prayer beads to sell, I have found myself wanting to make a set for me. I want to write prayers to be repeated.

You could almost call me a 'prayer-o-holic'.

I feel like I have discovered a new language, or rediscovered something that was lost. Like a hole that was inside of me has suddenly been filled. I can now feel comfortable talking to deity outside of a ritual setting, which is a HUGE deal. I have always revered ritual as sacred (even though I am laid back and simple in my approach), and really the only time one could speak to deity - like a collect call made once a month. Anytime I spent trying to pray outside of ritual made me feel as though I was falling back too much on my Christian upbringing. Spending so much time talking to deity in the last month has made me realize how utterly foolish that statement is.

Besides, I spent so long talking to Jesus, right? I mean, it's the same concept, different name.

Interesting Videos

2009-10-21T03:58:00.003-03:00

A few videos found on my internet travels!

A 4 part documentary on Witchcraft - facinating!

A National Geographic Documentary on various types of witchcraft. This is the wicca part (which has the same woman from the first documentary):

Would you believe? Wicca Ways

Sabbat: Samhain

2009-10-19T23:30:00.002-03:00

The Wheel turns and turns, and the year begins, ends, and begins again.

Samhain is the last harvest celebration.

Samhain is the night when the Old King dies, and the Crone Goddess mourns him greatly during the next six weeks. Samhain is the day on which the Celtic New Year and winter begin together, so it is a time for both beginnings and endings.

It is also the day we honor our dead. Now, while the veil between the worlds is thinnest, those who have died in the past year and those who are to be reincarnated pass through. This is the most magical time of the year, and one of the most dangerous for the inexperienced.

This festival is also known as Hallowe'en, and All Hallows Eve. It usually takes place on or near October 31.
Altar
For the Samhain altar: Decorate with autumn flowers, small pumpkins, Indian corn, and gourds.
Cauldron with black votive candle for petition magick (for writing resolutions on a strip of paper and burning in the candle flame)
Divination or scrying devises -- tarot, obsidian ball, pendulum, runes, oghams, Ouija boards, black cauldron or bowl filled with black ink or water, or magick mirror, to name a few
An animal horn, feather or talon as a power symbol (Samhain is tradtionally the meat harvest)

Traditional Herbs - Rosemary (for remembrance of our ancestors), Mullein seeds (a projection for abundance), mugwort (to aid in divination), rue, calendula, sunflower petals and seeds, pumpkin seeds, turnip seeds, apple leaf, sage, mushrooms, wild ginseng, wormwood, tarragon, bay leaf, almond, hazelnut, passionflower, pine needles, nettle, garlic, hemlock cones, mandrake root. At Samhain, witches once gave one another acorns as gifts. During the Burning Times, giving someone an acorn was a secret means of telling that person you were a witch. Acorns are fruits of the oak, one of the most sacred trees to the ancient Celts. They are symbols of protection, fertility, growth, values, and friendship.

Traditional Incense - -
Myrrh or Patchouli

Candle Colors - black, brown, golden yellow, orange, red, silver, and white. .

Magickal Stones - Black obsidian, smoky quartz, jet, amber, pyrite, garnet, granite, clear quartz, marble, sandstone, gold, diamond, iron, steel, ruby, hematite, brass

Divinities

Hecate, Cerridwen, Arianhod, Persephone, the Morrigan, Edda, Lilith, Arawn, and Nefertum. Any God representing death or rebirth.

Spells
At Samhain, witches cast spells to keep anything negative from the past -- evil, harm, corruption, greed -- out of the future. Cast spells to psychically contact our deceased forebears and retrieve ancient knowledge, thus preserving the great Web that stretches through many generations of human families.

Activities
- Make resolutions, write them on a small piece of parchment, and burn in a candle flame, preferably a black votive candle within a cauldron on the altar.
- Wear costumes that reflect what we hope or wish for in the upcoming year.
- Carve a jack-o-lantern. Place a spirit candle in it.
- Enjoy the trick or treating of the season.
- Drink apple cider spiced with cinnamon to honor the dead. Bury an apple or pomegranate in the garden as food for spirits passing by on their way to being reborn.
- Do divinations for the next year using tarot, a crystal ball, flame, pendulum, magick mirror, black bowl, runes, Ouija boards, or a black cauldron filled with black ink or water.
- Set out a mute supper.
- Make a mask of your shadow self.
- Make a besom, or witches broom.
- Make a witches ladder for protection or as an expression of what you hope to manifest in the year ahead.
- Find a magick wand of oak, holly, ash, rowan, birch, hazel, elm, hawthorne or willow.
- Let this be the traditional time that you make candles for the coming year, infusing them with color, power, herbs, and scent depending on the magickal purpose.

Food
Meat dishes (especially pork), rosemary (for meat seasoning), pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, roasted pumpkin seeds, mulled cider with spices, candy apples or other apple dishes, potatoes, roasted pumpkin seeds, nuts (representing resurrection and rebirth), especially hazel nuts and acorns.

***

Last year, I had the pleasure to take part in an extremely powerful Samhain ritual in an old graveyard. The 5 of us stood in a circle lit with candles and glowsticks (sounds cheesey, but it worked really well) with the stars overhead, and the uneven earth below. There were tears shed as we let go of the old, reminiced about those who passed, and focused on renewing ourselves.

This Samhain will be different. Much more low key, with a small private family ritual after the big public ritual. I know I will need the private one - there have been many changes in the last year.

Are North American Pagans Lazy?

2009-10-17T22:29:00.000-03:00

As I am wont to do, I was flipping through some of the used books at work last week, and came across a Pagan Dawn magazine. I was surprised to see an actual insert inside. I opened it, and it was a huge list of events going on in the UK for Beltane 2008.

Last I checked, guys, North America is much bigger than the UK.

Upon closer inspection, there are thousands of pagan events in the UK yearly. There is a massive pagan population (well, the modern movement did start there) and they appear to be ridiculously organized.

I wish for someone to explain to me why we can't have that here. Why, when the NSPA runs meetings, or AEPG throws their wonderful weekend, can't we have 500 people out and involved? The UK waves seem flooded with possibility, whereas we seem to struggle to make it to one meeting, or a yearly trip.

Our work weeks are just as long. We have kids, and school, and family just like everyone over there.

Thoughts?

Us? Open Minded?

2009-10-07T22:28:00.000-03:00

I am often surprised by the lack of open-mindedness coming from fringe faiths like paganism.

It disappoints me that if it doesn't fit into the small box people have created, it's not worthy for discussion.

As an example: I recently attended a workshop on connecting to angels and faeries. I personally don't work with either of these entities, but I certainly could at some point of the opportunity presented itself. My thoughts in going were that I could learn some techniques to boost any intuitive abilities and connect better with energy in general. This workshop ended up being extremely useful, as we discussed far more than angels and faeries. There were discussions of negative energy, reiki, energy clearing, chakra cleansing, psychic blocks and psychic protection. Any of these topics could be applied to whatever entity you believe in. Plus, in a city, learning psychic protection and personal blocks is important for protecting your own energy. Very, very useful stuff taught by a good friend of mine.

When I mentioned it (to several people, actually) I got a lot of derisive sniffs, and an oh or two. You know the oh; crawling with disgust or belittlement. All of these people were pagan! They couldn't see past the 'angels and faeries' topic, despite my reassurances that the teacher was well learned and experienced in many topics (not to mention that she is the person who made me think twice about psychics - I was a skeptic/ sorta believer before I met her). Whether people thought it screamed 'fluffy' or whatnot (which is funny, because, faeries especially, are not exceptionally cuddly, sweet creatures), I don't know. But leaving that class, I learned how to psychically boost my shields, clear objects, use dowsing rods, program my tools for very specific functions, and connect with energies around me.

Their loss, I suppose. I wouldn't give up an opportunity to learn something new.

It makes me wonder how much else the pagan community has closed itself off from.

Finding Time

2009-09-17T22:28:00.000-03:00

First off, intrepid readers, my apologies for the lack of updates in the past while. Fully half of us are busy with school, in some way or another.

As busy as we all are (and a lot of people would rightly claim to be so), we tend to let things go on the wayside when we are heavily focused on something else. Everyone is guilty of it, because there are different forces affecting our life at various times. School, work, family, travel - it's all important and often, all encompassing. How do we find the time to practice spirtually?

The most important thing is to learn to integrate spirituality into what you are doing. Affirmations, quiet moments of prayer, and a single candle can do wonders. Even if it's at the beginning of the day, or after work, or after the kids are in bed - take a moment for yourself and connect with the divine.

The second most important thing is effective time management. Sometimes, you need to set work aside for a few hours and just go out for a walk, or grab coffee with friends, or watch a movie on the couch. The absolute worst thing you can do is work like a crazy person - it is not good for your mental state, and it makes you feel burnt out. And it's even harder to connect to the divine when you are burnt out. You can work overtime and still have time for family, friends, and practice. You just have to learn the balancing act.

If you are in a group or coven, this is doubly true. If you have made a commitment to people, there is an assumption you will keep it. If you cannot keep it, it is your responsibility to let these people know. Most coveners will be very sympathetic. Another option is to set up set meeting times bi-weekly so that the commitment is not so great, but it is still there. Covens are a family of their own, and the health and safety of their members is paramount to the whole. The other option is local circle groups. Being in frequent contact with other will help to keep the divine spark alive, and setting aside some time to make magic and ritual will help to soothe stresses, connect with the divine, and even get social interaction.

Thirdly, set up an altar. If it's for work, set up a very inconspicuous altar - perhaps a collection of stones, or a small figurine - just something to help you remember that the divine is always with you. You then have a place to focus that quiet energy and a place to ask for strength. If you are a student, or you travel a lot for work, a portable altar works just as well. Find a quiet area. You portable altar should have a small candle (real wax, or you can get a battery operated tealight from most dollar stores) a few stones or sachet of herbs, maybe a small figurine or a picture. Pull it out (and really, it doesn't have to be too elaborate - just something you connect with) and throw it on top of the hotel desk, or on a book. Take a few moments, and then put it away.

You should also maintain an altar at home, if possible. Take 5 minutes each day, and think about the things going on in your life. These 5 minutes should be precious and just for you.

Remember, the divine is always with you. As overwhelming as things can seem, sometimes we just need to remember to breathe.

Isolation Creates Loneliness

2009-08-25T22:26:00.000-03:00

I just read this fantastic article on Witchvox.

There are more than 300 million of us in the United States, and sometimes it seems like we're all friends on Facebook. But the sad truth is that Americans are lonelier than ever. Between 1985 and 2004, the number of people who said there was no one with whom they discussed important matters tripled, to 25 percent, according to Duke University researchers. Unfortunately, as a new study linking women to increased risk of heart disease shows, all this loneliness can be detrimental to our health.

The bad news doesn't just affect women. Social isolation in all adults has been linked to a raft of physical and mental ailments, including sleep disorders, high blood pressure, and an increased risk of depression and suicide. How lonely you feel today actually predicts how well you'll sleep tonight and how depressed you'll feel a year from now, says John T. Cacioppo, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago and coauthor of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. Studies have shown that loneliness can cause stress levels to rise and can weaken the immune system. Lonely people also tend to have less healthy lifestyles, drinking more alcohol, eating more fattening food, and exercising less than those who are not lonely.

Though more Americans than ever are living alone (25 percent of U.S. households, up from 7 percent in 1940), the connection between single-living and loneliness is in fact quite weak. "Some of the most profound loneliness can happen when other people are present," says Harry Reis, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. Take college freshmen: even though they're surrounded by people almost all the time, many feel incredibly isolated during the first quarter of the school year with their friends and family members far away, Cacioppo says. Studies have shown that how lonely freshmen will feel can be predicted by how many miles they are from home. By the second quarter, however, most freshmen have found social replacements for their high-school friends. Unfortunately, as we age, it becomes more difficult to recreate those social relationships. And that can be a big problem as America becomes a more transient society, with an increasing number of Americans who say that they're willing to move away from home for a job.

Loneliness can be relative: it has been defined as an aversive emotional response to a perceived discrepancy between a person's desired levels of social interaction and the contact they're actually receiving. People tend to measure themselves against others, feeling particularly alone in communities where social connection is the norm. That's why collectivist cultures, like those in Southern Europe, have higher levels of loneliness than individualist cultures, Cacioppo says. For the same reason, isolated individuals feel most acutely alone on holidays like Christmas Eve or Thanksgiving, when most people are surrounded by family and friends.

Still, loneliness is a natural biological signal that we all have. Indeed, loneliness serves an adaptive purpose, making us protect and care for one another. Loneliness essentially puts the brain on high alert, encouraging us not to eat leftovers from the refrigerator but to call a friend and eat out. Certain situational factors can trigger loneliness, but long-term feelings of emptiness and isolation are partly genetic, Cacioppo says. What's inherited is not loneliness itself, but rather sensitivity to disconnection.

Social-networking sites like Facebook and MySpace may provide people with a false sense of connection that ultimately increases loneliness in people who feel alone. These sites should serve as a supplement, but not replacement for, face-to-face interaction, Cacioppo says. He compares connecting on a Web site to eating celery: "It feels good immediately, but it doesn't give you the same sustenance," he says. For people who feel satisfied and loved in their day-to-day life, social media can be a reassuring extension. For those who are already lonely, Facebook status updates are just a reminder of how much better everyone else is at making friends and having fun.

Michael J. Bugeja, a professor of communications at Iowa State University and author of Interpersonal Divide: The Search for Community in a Technological Age, says that the encroachment of digital communication into our social lives can amplify feelings of isolation. He describes texting or Twittering in the presence of others as a "prescription for loneliness." Such behavior, he says, sends the message that someone somewhere else is more important. "The human heart is suffering from lack of authentic interaction," he says. "Just being able to engage genuinely and politely with your neighbors is a better fix than Xanax could ever effect for mental stability."

So how many friends do you need to avoid loneliness? There's no magic number, according to Cacioppo. An introvert might need one confidante not to feel lonely, whereas an extrovert might require two, three, or four bosom buddies. Experts say it's not the quantity of social relationships but the quality that really matters. "The most popular kid in school may still feel lonely," Cacioppo says. "There are a lot of stars who have been idols and lived lonely lives."

This can be applied to any community, really. In the context of the pagan community, more people are choosing to work solitary and avoid human interaction than ever before. It is a measureable fact. The attendance for the local pagan festival, AEPG, has slowly been declining for years. It's peak was probably somewhere in the 90's, when they had to impose strict numbers and not everyone could attend - around 200 - 250 people. This year? 80-90. Which is actually up from the last few years.

Why are people choosing to abstain? There are many reasons - cost, drama, and - most importantly - isolation. I find myself far most isolated than I was 4 years ago. I actually had a circle of friends - now, most of my friends are online. It's hard to get my local friends together (of which the number had dwindled considerably), mostly due to scheduling conflicts. And, as time goes by, I find it harder to be close to the local folks because I feel disconnected. Twitter and Facebook have become my prescriptions for loneliness, where I can interact with these people, and with other friends that I don't get to see. It's also easier to talk to people online, because you can be less like yourself and more of who you want to be.

I suggest you re-read this article and then go read a post Elizabeth made awhile back. It really brings some probing questions to the forefront.

Pagan Pride Day and the Community

2009-07-15T22:25:00.000-03:00

I remember, in my reading on the internet a few years ago, my shock that there was no Pagan Pride events in Nova Scotia. Halifax is the hub of the Maritimes - and the hub of the pagan community.

I am chalking it up to the local community's... 'issues' over the past 5 years. Every community splinters and has problems. In a way it is supposed to be like family - and not every family gets along or likes each other. Sometimes the issues take months to work out, and sometimes years. Sometimes, people leave and never return, finding other ways to connect with community.

Community is important to a lot of faiths. When I was studying Asatru, it was one of the most important things. Brotherhood (sisterhood) is an extended family that you share your oaths to the Gods with. Community is at the heart of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. The difference with Paganism and the big Five is simple: if you fall out with one church, there is another one near enough you can attend - same, in most cities, with mosques and synagogs. With Paganism, we're widespread and few - on the fringes of cities. Most of the community knows each other, and if there is an issue and you have to leave, you have no one to turn to aside from yourself.

You do not need a community to be a proud pagan, but you need a community for Pagan Pride Day. And sadly, I think it's a few years off.

The Importance of Being Thrifty

2009-07-04T22:24:00.000-03:00

Coming from humble beginnings, I always thought that finding things to use in personal practice wherever you could was the most important. No deity would ever care if it wasn't from the top online pagan retailer. You can find the most amazing things in regular stores if you think creatively, and are open to interpretation.

Even now, although I work at a fantastic pagan shop that enables my book addiction, I sometimes crave something used. Something with a history. I am a notorious bargain shopper - I hate paying full price for anything in a department store. I do most of my shopping at small antiques stores and a large used store chain called Value Village. I always check the housewares and the knick knacks to see if anything of interest pops up.

Here are a few of the more recent items I have picked up:

Aphrodite statue for Andrew - $3.99

Matching set of metal candleholders - $2.99

No idea what it originally was, but it is now an incense/offering bowl - $3.99

Brass Cauldron! - $4.99

For a total cost of $18.95. All this for under $20!

In the past I have found shelves, books, chalices, candle holders, offering bowls, statuary, altar decor.... you just have to be patient and willing to dig.

Plus, with the money I save, I can buy more books and incense and goodies from my store!